I Still Love H.E.R.

[M Dogg™]

It was on a Sunday Afternoon when she came around, she wasn't tripping I was a Lighter Shade of Brown/
She was a New York girl with style and flair, around this time she was talking about the funk in H.E.R. ear/
She came up close and whispered in my ear, Cali gots stories and like CNN I'll get them all out there/
Should I trust H.E.R. or should I go on stompin', then she talked about dudes some Straight Outta Compton/
I was hooked, H.E.R. every word made me believe, that even in an Ice Cube's chance in hell, AmeriKKKa's for me/
Riots happened and she was the first to the front line, a good Dr. had some new Chronic out at  the same time/
She was pure in New York, Cali showed her the world as it is, this changed everything about who she is/
The Wild Wild West but not like Kool Moe Dee, she realized that there's a lot more out of New York City/

Around this time they wanted H.E.R. back home, until this dude said Keep Your Head Up on the microphone/
She looked mesmerized, a poet to complete H.E.R. thoughts, together they spoke from the heart of the block/
I was hooked, it was some true stories about what I see, another look, you can see the love she had for he/
Dudes back in New York was jealous and started clowning, they crowned a B.I.G. king and got a new sound and/
Once the poet gave them a visit the king set him up, over this girl a whole civil war was bound to erupted/
The poet was set to Death Row, the king claimed to be a Bad Boy, lines were drawn and the soldiers were toys/
Shots were fired and piece of H.E.R. died that night, never again has she loved like that and no one's made it right/
The king soon fell and you can tell she died inside, I Still Love H.E.R., 'cause even through it all she still carries the fight/

[M Dogg™]

no love?

[QuietTruth]

Thought-provokig.

[da_notorious_mack]

i prefer commons version but it was decent enough

[El the Self Image]

^
DAMN, ROUGH CROWD.....

I thought it was interesting man, some of the odd bars seemed a little too long though, you may need to re-phrase some stuff if you ever decide to record this....

but, it does read like a remake of a Common verse, which, if you were going for that, then you accomplished it well.
If not, then do something to seperate yourself from the originator of the concept.... other than that, I enjoyed reading it!

[M Dogg™]

^
DAMN, ROUGH CROWD.....

I thought it was interesting man, some of the odd bars seemed a little too long though, you may need to re-phrase some stuff if you ever decide to record this....

but, it does read like a remake of a Common verse, which, if you were going for that, then you accomplished it well.
If not, then do something to seperate yourself from the originator of the concept.... other than that, I enjoyed reading it!

I was trying for it. I was thinking of even using the same beat. I might rewrite it, it's the first song I wrote in about 3 years. If I did I would add a 3rd verse about Hip-Hop's death.

[El the Self Image]

Hip-Hop never died my friend, just went into a coma for a while....