Elements > Tha Studio
~Dead Poets Clique..~
Pillow:
yo all 5 of u dropped nicley.....this is a poem i wrote umm like 3 weeks after 9-11 i was thinking about getting it published, alot of ppl say yes, but i dunno...let me know what u all think....its not a rhyme, its a str8 out poem..........
TWO THOUSAND ONE, NINE ELEVEN
Two thousand one, nine eleven
Five thousand plus arrive in heaven
As they pass through the gate,
Thousands more appear in wait
A bearded man with stovepipe hat
Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, lets chat"
They settle down in seats of clouds
A man named Martin shouts out proud
"I have a dream!" and once he did
The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives."
Groups of soldiers in blue and gray
Others in khaki, and green then say
We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine"
The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain."
From a man on sticks one could hear
The only thing we have to fear.
The Newcomer said, "We know the rest,
Trust us sir, we've passed that test."
"Courage doesn't hide in caves
You can't bury freedom, in a grave,"
The Newcomers had heard this voice before
A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannisport shores.
A silence fell within the mist
Somehow the Newcomer knew that this
Meant time had come for her to say
What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day.
"Back on Earth, we wrote reports,
Watched our children play in sports
Worked our gardens, sang our songs
Went to church and clipped coupons
We smiled, we laughed, we cried, we fought
Unlike you, great we're not"
The tall man in the stovepipe hat
Stood and said, "Don't talk like that!
Look at your country, look and see
You died for freedom, just like me."
Then, before them all appeared a scene
Of rubbled streets and twisted beams
Death, destruction, smoke and dust
And people working just 'cause they must
Hauling ash, lifting stones,
Knee deep in hell, but not alone
"Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman
Side by side helping their fellow man!"
So said Martin, as he watched the scene
"Even from nightmares, can be born a dream."
Down below three firemen raised
The colors high into ashen haze
The soldiers above had seen it before
On Iwo Jima back in '44
The man on sticks studied everything closely
Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly
"I see pain, I see tears,
I see sorrow - but I don't see fear."
"You left behind husbands and wives
Daughters and sons and so many lives
Are suffering now because of this wrong
But look very closely. You're not really gone.
All of those people, even those who've never met you
All of their lives, they'll never forget you
Don't you see what has happened?
Don't you see what you've done?
You've brought them together, together as one."
With that the man in the stovepipe hat said
"Take my hand," and from there he led
Five thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven
On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven
peace out every1....
..::TinMaN::..
Tanjential:
youth brings upon such grandiose extreme views on depression
poets whores beauty and events
what you don't see is what's felt by truth
all the emotions wouldn't help you if they could
for all is art or misery for me nothing in between
i won't act like you can't understand me
but you won't because you won't take the time to think about it
or repress your pride to listen to another poets statements rather than thinking about the next statement YOU plan to make
remember non-mind
poetry doesn't have to rhyme and you guys are just rapping about being poets....read Arthur Rimbaud's "Theory Of The Visionary" or "A Season In Hell"...THEN you'll know what being a poet means.....
blade your last line interpreted? "we smart! i know about weed..."
i mean you guys all have potential and you can be poets but you're pretty much bragging about your clique using less profanity and cliche'd imagery and attempts to illustrate your intellectuality which is too specific "mentally sharpened"
"intellectual horizons are vast" i mean it's like you just have a stereotyped view of poets from the stuff you see on tv and what you read in elementary/middle school.....i mean you guys have great potential really but you can do better....
you should be able to humble yourself in your poetry...rappers RARELY put themselves down and you guys are trying to be poets bringing rap's bragging into it(ironically rappers bragging is derivative o their insecurities....)
The Blind Visonary-Don't wake me from the dream
curses...too late,now i reach for the scattered air of epiphany
guitars illustrate youthful realities emotions in the right way
it would feel so good to be dead
what's that rubbery tranquil depressed yet pleasureful feeling of inactivity?
it's too mental to be rest and too petrifyingly aware of tears to be sleep
oh vision come back to me and change
i feel weak and yet i will do so much
i long for night during day
i long for day during night
i long for heat during cold
i long for cold during heat
who's fault is this?
Will God pay his dues?or at least explain these iniquities...
i'm beyond misery and ecstasy,happy and sad
and now achieve on a regular basis an exuberant explosion of life
which via depression becomes a suttle transcendence
i have so much to tell you all
gather round all you people and feel the warm glow of the campfire that is
my wounding and healing words...flee from me ghouls of doubt for reason and then we'll gather others
Life Is Not Worth Living In The Heavens The Masses Would Conceive-Idiot is a word tossed around too flippantly
I can't believe I let people not even smart enough to be my enemies get to me
Empathy? Bah
Emptily GLAD!
at physical joys and exuberances
People like me:the losers get this
kill me quickly,Make haste
I think all i do is waste space
I hate this place
I hate myself almost as much as I hate the rest of the world
In the underworld i'll rule the best of the burrows
I'll outsmart Satan,that's why i can't humble myself before God
Everything is perfectly random ,i make no sure thoughts
in admission of my hollow mentality
i transcend you all because it's not what you see but how you see!
You don't believe it.....THAT is why you fail
I want to cry with my mouth as i fly through hell
peace-Tanjint
.:R-E-L:.:
Events in history take over our train of thought//
Two planes were brought one day, and sent us all away//
To grief, and hatred...raise it..the glory to carry forth//
We must feel the warmth of one anotha...and treat every human like a brotha//
Act as a luva...and love, and dont hate your average homie//
Congratulate, cuz u neva kno when yah will b lonely//
Wats the solution of the Holocaust and Jews....6 million//
Jus look at the world we live in// And hopefully we can pave the ways, with the rhymes we spittin//Stay away from the alcohol and pollution of the body//
The happiness is jus a allusion, dont get sucked in like everybody//
Dont let time elapse//
It will only b so long until we can give society the facts//
And in reality, knowledge IS within our grasp//
We gotta b fast to re-act//
At last, we have a story to our offspring//
We can just imagine the hope they will bring into the future//
ToNe1904:
--- Quote ---youth brings upon such grandiose extreme views on depression
poets whores beauty and events
what you don't see is what's felt by truth
all the emotions wouldn't help you if they could
for all is art or misery for me nothing in between
i won't act like you can't understand me
but you won't because you won't take the time to think about it
or repress your pride to listen to another poets statements rather than thinking about the next statement YOU plan to make
remember non-mind
poetry doesn't have to rhyme and you guys are just rapping about being poets....read Arthur Rimbaud's "Theory Of The Visionary" or "A Season In Hell"...THEN you'll know what being a poet means.....
blade your last line interpreted? "we smart! i know about weed..."
i mean you guys all have potential and you can be poets but you're pretty much bragging about your clique using less profanity and cliche'd imagery and attempts to illustrate your intellectuality which is too specific "mentally sharpened"
"intellectual horizons are vast" i mean it's like you just have a stereotyped view of poets from the stuff you see on tv and what you read in elementary/middle school.....i mean you guys have great potential really but you can do better....
you should be able to humble yourself in your poetry...rappers RARELY put themselves down and you guys are trying to be poets bringing rap's bragging into it(ironically rappers bragging is derivative o their insecurities....)
The Blind Visonary-Don't wake me from the dream
curses...too late,now i reach for the scattered air of epiphany
guitars illustrate youthful realities emotions in the right way
it would feel so good to be dead
what's that rubbery tranquil depressed yet pleasureful feeling of inactivity?
it's too mental to be rest and too petrifyingly aware of tears to be sleep
oh vision come back to me and change
i feel weak and yet i will do so much
i long for night during day
i long for day during night
i long for heat during cold
i long for cold during heat
who's fault is this?
Will God pay his dues?or at least explain these iniquities...
i'm beyond misery and ecstasy,happy and sad
and now achieve on a regular basis an exuberant explosion of life
which via depression becomes a suttle transcendence
i have so much to tell you all
gather round all you people and feel the warm glow of the campfire that is
my wounding and healing words...flee from me ghouls of doubt for reason and then we'll gather others
Life Is Not Worth Living In The Heavens The Masses Would Conceive-Idiot is a word tossed around too flippantly
I can't believe I let people not even smart enough to be my enemies get to me
Empathy? Bah
Emptily GLAD!
at physical joys and exuberances
People like me:the losers get this
kill me quickly,Make haste
I think all i do is waste space
I hate this place
I hate myself almost as much as I hate the rest of the world
In the underworld i'll rule the best of the burrows
I'll outsmart Satan,that's why i can't humble myself before God
Everything is perfectly random ,i make no sure thoughts
in admission of my hollow mentality
i transcend you all because it's not what you see but how you see!
You don't believe it.....THAT is why you fail
I want to cry with my mouth as i fly through hell
peace-Tanjint
--- End quote ---
ay man, i respect what youre saying. But poetry IMO is not something that is so "structured" as u make it seem. It is from the individual. There isnt a blueprint. The way YOU write, does not necessarily need to be the way anyone else does. Neither does the content, need to be what u feel it should. U seem to like to lower the level of rappers, by saying they arent poets. Guess what? They are. ;)
bLaDe:
--- Quote ---
ay man, i respect what youre saying. But poetry IMO is not something that is so "structured" as u make it seem. It is from the individual. There isnt a blueprint. The way YOU write, does not necessarily need to be the way anyone else does. Neither does the content, need to be what u feel it should. U seem to like to lower the level of rappers, by saying they arent poets. Guess what? They are. ;)
--- End quote ---
Yeah word, i mean i appreciate your concern, tanjnit, but this is just a thread where a buncha guys wanna express emsevls, spit sumtin diffrent, no one here really cares about how its "proper poetry", or anything....Like you seem to grasp every oppertunity u get to teach ppl on this board about poetry and rhymin, thaz coo n i respect that, but as tone and myself said, we just spittin wht we feel ya know...n we dont need lessons or anythin, just spit ya shit
-{bLaDe}
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version