*Please give me some constructive criticism*

[Sikotic™]

Wasup y'all bdogg's back at it again//
I'm a incosistant muthafucka, your enemy one day and the next your friend//
I'm unpredictable like a hurricane, but hard hittin like Sugar Ray//
I'm talkin about Robinson or Leonerd, not the band they straight gay//
Like a movin shadow in the darkness, got y'all afraid//
Cause lyrical assassinations is my fortay//
Gloray//
That what I demand //
My shits original whil some of y'all bitin others rhymes, thats underhand//
Like round worms I eat all yo shit while inside of ya I make you straight sick//
Parasitic muthafucka cause I use ya for my benefit//
But every other emcee used you up, lookin at your self-esteem its revelant//
I'm hell-sent, lucifer sent me to cause mayhem//
After I spent the night with ya moms I payed her and replied "Thankya Ma'am"//
God Damn//
I'm on fire, can't be stopped, no need to contest//
I'm climbin the top of the ladder while your still hangin with the rest//
Makin a mess, no this is no test,  run duck for cover//
Fuckin your ass up worse with this shit then if I were your gay lover//
In your case I'm referrin to your brother//
No need to lie//
Like McVeigh, you might as well die//
Now look at you cry//
You've been lyrically raped by so many emcees the goverments thinkin about makin sodemy a crime//
Now look, y'all got me wastin too much time//
I'm out this bitch, this my final line//
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Come on y'all. Give me some constructive criticism.

[.:N-Imy:.]

yeah that was some nice shit. I could do better myself but I ain't even gonna try.

[Sikotic™]

I said critisism not props. I guess everyone wants to keep their secrets to theirself instead of helpin a brotha out.

[Rud]

IT WAS SHIT....

NEEDS LOADS MORE WORK.....


HOPE THAT HELPS
















peace

[.:N-Imy:.]

I said critisism not props. I guess everyone wants to keep their secrets to theirself instead of helpin a brotha out.

Ok. You stuff is shit. Yeah that's right. It was fucking str8 wack. My gran could still rite betta shit than that even if she was dying in a coma. That how shit it was. Every line made no sense at all. I was like "I'm reading a rhyme or some lame ass story at skool". YOu just blethered a load of shit through the whole ryhme and I was like "I'm  I drunk?" but it turned out it was just your rhmye was absolutley shit.

Hope that asnwered your question for feedback.

[Sikotic™]

I said constructive but its all good.

Thanks  

[.:N-Imy:.]

glad I could be of some assistance !!!!!