16 bars by Dreamz

[westcoastriders]

Here is a quick 16 bars that my boy Dreamz just put out on his facebook notes a while ago just wanted to share it with you see what other people think? Its just lerics, and if you want you can add him on

www.facebook.com/dreamz818hiphop
www.twitter.com/dreamz818hiphop
www.myspace.com/dreamz818hiphop

and please keep it 100

I stay on'em like tweakers jacking your speakers go to sleep I'll catch you slipping and bring you the grim reaper, Call me the heat seeker aka street sweeper, I'll catch you with my nina leave you laying with a feaver, My diva my main skeeza, you bitches is dick teaszers, just call me johnny deeper cause Im all in your beaver, You say you don't love her, well she don't love you neigther, cause shes loving this thug dick and the way that I please her, so give me one reason to open up hunting season, while your freaking on a weekend I be late night creeping, you fishes don't be thinking trying to swim in the deep end, Im a shark your a guppie trying to float but now sinking, so save the preaching for the church, pastor, and deacon, cause I can't understand you like porto ricans thats speaking, I only understand one language thats getting even, leave you open in the road with holes and families greaving.. just a quick 16 bars for yall hiphop heads don't bite! Dreamz

[westcoastriders]

any thoughts anyone??

[.:DaYg0sTyLz:.]

Its aiight...kind of all over the place, and kinda generic yah know? I mean, he's talkin about fuckin bitches and killin niggas in the same verse. Its cool n all, but he needs to get more creative with it. I'm readin the lyrics and thinkin to myself, "this is like a million other verses Ive read". He can talk about fuckin and killin....its all good, but make it creative. More creative metaphors, etc.

[westcoastriders]

Its aiight...kind of all over the place, and kinda generic yah know? I mean, he's talkin about fuckin bitches and killin niggas in the same verse. Its cool n all, but he needs to get more creative with it. I'm readin the lyrics and thinkin to myself, "this is like a million other verses Ive read". He can talk about fuckin and killin....its all good, but make it creative. More creative metaphors, etc.

dope feedback I hear you on that! this seems more like a free style just all over the place like you said cuz most songs have a concept and a main idea you stick to and paint the mental picture for others! So more metaphors and more creative... Who do you personaly like that could set a good example on that?

[Sikotic™]

Its aiight...kind of all over the place, and kinda generic yah know? I mean, he's talkin about fuckin bitches and killin niggas in the same verse. Its cool n all, but he needs to get more creative with it. I'm readin the lyrics and thinkin to myself, "this is like a million other verses Ive read". He can talk about fuckin and killin....its all good, but make it creative. More creative metaphors, etc.

Hater.

[westcoastriders]

Its aiight...kind of all over the place, and kinda generic yah know? I mean, he's talkin about fuckin bitches and killin niggas in the same verse. Its cool n all, but he needs to get more creative with it. I'm readin the lyrics and thinkin to myself, "this is like a million other verses Ive read". He can talk about fuckin and killin....its all good, but make it creative. More creative metaphors, etc.

Hater.

Well not eveybody is going to like the same shit! I think its dope!

[.:DaYg0sTyLz:.]

Its aiight...kind of all over the place, and kinda generic yah know? I mean, he's talkin about fuckin bitches and killin niggas in the same verse. Its cool n all, but he needs to get more creative with it. I'm readin the lyrics and thinkin to myself, "this is like a million other verses Ive read". He can talk about fuckin and killin....its all good, but make it creative. More creative metaphors, etc.

Hater.

lol Well....if we compare it to some of your old keystyles its a classic! 

[MrJas]

Shit was almost as dope as a 16 from Gucci mane

[Sir Petey]

no real flow or cohesiveness to it.