Elements > Tha Studio

Few poems Im messin with tryin to make it through the night

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Ebony Zebedee:
Always feelin watched like I got no privacy
Knowin good n well that they do just as they please
Some maggot saw a meal ticket when he cast his eyes on me
Got me paranoid and pissed as all got damn fuckery
Knowin Im not safe when I choose to close my eyes
Barricading bedroom doors to stop em gettin inside
Knowin good and well you don’t even need no memory
To be a victim of this sick dick devilsh infamy
Puttin ya bikes before your wife
Floodin the neighbourhood with ice
Makin scapegoats outta turn coats
Turnin tricks
Corruptin vice
Treatin freedom like a joke
Punchin pussies for the thrill
Hittin fannies
Initiation intimidatin innocents to kill
Got no desire to partake in this fucked up lil hell
Where nobody gives a fuck bout no one else but emself
I don’t want these snakes n fakes just for the love of company
Im in my element with anonymity
No need to front
Im free
Don’t want no back up
Don’t wanna feed no one else into this game
Where you’re valued for your victimhood
These parasites thrive on pain
Rather keep to my damn self
Trust no one
That’s the rule
Cant invest in their respect cos they weild it like a tool
Manipulatin you to prove that you’ll be down for them for life
When in reality you’re expendable
There is no loyalty
But still you'll fght
They’ll invade ya space
Chase ya
And you wont even know they there
They been doin it since the 70s
They think its clever
You call it fair
Cos you justify abuse if theres profit to be made
Same damn logic has people locked up
Slavin
Its just another trade
The meat market
The horror shit
The sadists
The corrupt
Where if its profitable its permissable
No one gives a fuck
Like the outlaws said in war there’s no victory without casualty
On goes the tyrants reighn regardless
That’s the actuality
Of a sad reality
Where your only here as fodder for the devils family

Ebony Zebedee:
So sensitive and easily pursuaded or convinced
You placed trust  in their deception now you’ve nothing left to give
Cos people will let you lavish them till you end up dead and broke
Everything is commercialized
From ignorance to woke

So immature and juvenile
Acting like a child
Sillyness and beligerence wont help you pay the fine
You know that penance you must pay for showing disrespect
How can you afford the risk if you dont have a connect

Eventually
It will eventuate
The date has probably already been written
Revenge
Retaliation
And you’ll be wishing you were forgiven

Maybe they’re just waiting for you to forget
Let down your gaurd
Maybe baby
And you thought you were so hard

So you know what my little darling
I hope you’re feeling good
I hope you make the most of what is left
Infact you should
Cos one day I’ll catch up to you
It could be the witching hour
Cos you’ve fucked the fuck right up my girl
Thinking you had power

So insignificant and futile
Thats how I view your deeds
Do you know how many people Ive been feeding
Sowing countless seeds
Are you aware of my affiliates
They’ll do anything I say
Ive taken pity on you so far
But trust that one day you will pay

You thought it was so righteous
Thinking you were right
I’ll just let you in on something
In regards to that dark night
We knew that you were coming
Its all been done before
And yes
You little insect
I got more respect for my front door
I got more respect for an inanimate object than you
You fucking whore

Ebony Zebedee:
Sometimes I just feel like I must be the devils spawn
I remember all their lies and wonder why it was that I was born
People say “You were born for this”
People say “Stay in your place”
They say “You’re to be seen and not heard”
With a smile upon their face
Mummy dearest told me a few things
She just said this and that
She said not to drink from a cup with a chip in it
Infact
She said the reason was because it could be laced with drugs
She told me at the age of 3
Now I’m wonderin bout these thugs
I just think that we’re all human
Some feel bigger than the rest
I dont know why they seem intent on degrading others for a vest
I spose its all about having standards
Do morals stand up to the test
Are you even chasing answers or are you consumed with bitterness
Daddy was a junkie
He said mummy was the devil
Told me not to trust her
Along came Collin talkin Rebels
I wasn’t even interested
I didn’t wanna join a gang
I didn’t wanna be the baddest
Im just thinkin bout the game
Takes two to tango, foxtrot, waltz or jive
Don’t like to dance
My knees go weak
Got no desire to try
Sometimes I run in circles tryin to make sense of all this shit
Then I figure it’s not worth it and just stick to my own script
Don’t wanna be a leader
Don’t wanna be led along
So I just try to distract myself
Act like an adult
They’ve all whispered little lies into my ears
They’ve all tried to make me scared so that I’d fear
They’ve all poked and prodded trying to get a rise
They’ve all planned and plotted to realize my demise

Ebony Zebedee:
Probably just been spiked again
That’s what my voices tellin me
I could care less about the substance
Im just tryin to stay free
He told me watch Blood In Blood Out
Asked me to pass weed
And my dumbass fucking did it
You’re an idiot Ebony
Cant change the past
The future is uncertain
All I know
Is I can’t trust fucking anyone
And its all about the dough
Others are convinced that its bout integrity
Each to his own
I chose my throne
Clothed in infamy
Ive been very lucky so far
But I don’t mean like Im all that
Just I know I could be worse off
So Im thankful
Im intact
Sometimes I look at my reflection and don’t recognize my face
Im not the only one that’s changed
Im not the only one that’s chased
But still it is
Here I am
In my glory
In the flesh
And they sold me up the river for a rigger
That’s my best
Don’t wanna be down for nothin less it seems genuinely true
Don’t even know if my donations are going toward food
I wanna contribute to those who know what it is to go without
Then I hear the voices saying “That’s me”
Which leads to doubt
Use it or lose it
Cant refuse it
It’s a ruse
Excused and rude
Its just corruption interrupting introductions
You refuse
Won't take no for no damn answer
Go on
Try and deny
They’ll force ya
You’re not invincible
Truth is neither am I

Ebony Zebedee:
Last one........ think I'll go back to twitter
Was trippin long before I ever dropped a name
Difference between then N now I didn’t know I was insane
They said “What are ya? Psychic?”
I heard 21 gun salutes
Saw smoke in the still of night
No flame
I call that proof
But it serves no purpose to report it
They labelled me 504
Corruption couldn’t exist without the cops
Of that Im sure
Im not quite sure what to make of this
Everytime that I relapse
The delusion seems so real
I genuinely feel trapped
Nothings actually come of all the fear just yet
Then I think I’ll just have patience incase I do forget
Never forget an enemy
I thought that I was smart
Cos I simply just said “Do it”
What a joke
The devils laughed
“So you got no fear do you?”
Think before you speak
There’s always other options
Devilish tricks and treats
She said her brothers were in the mafia
I said “If thats true you wouldnt be tellin me”
I was happy washing dishes
Didn’t actually wanna be seen
She said “You dont have the right background”
Another failed job
I used to like manual labor
Help me stay fit and strong
They deny and lie as if you’re dependant on confessions
May aswell tell the whole damn world
Hope your troubles lessen
They said “Do you know his ethnicity?”
I said I didn’t give a fuck
I’d only seen his photo
Chopper wrote about that stuff
All Im trying to do right now
This very fucking second
Is stay alive
Awake
Aware
And hope to god for a blessing
Its unfortunate but fortunately I had a fortnight of sanity
Then I lost the plot when MC Eiht offered me a free CD
So the best I can come up with is to try and express all my symptoms
They’re based on life experiences
Wonderin what the fuck I was thinkin
I cried so many nights over so many that I knew
I was convinced they were at risk and possibly being abused
I rekon they was spiking me
Thats why I couldnt sleep
Go Ask Alice
Its been done before
Think I’ll quit now
Later freaks

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