Lifestyle > Train of Thought
Infinite dead at 50. I'm only planning to live 8 more years.
Soopafly DPGC:
--- Quote from: Sccit on October 08, 2024, 09:38:08 AM ---
got it
sticky situation .. but sound like your content wit it
--- End quote ---
Oh yes for sure, i don't need kids to be happy. I've found my happiness through other avenues. That's the advice i was giving Infinite. Learn to play the cards you were dealt and stop wishing you were dealt 4 aces. Because what might seem like a great card hand to you, might be terrible for someone else.
TraceOneInfinite:
--- Quote from: Soopafly DPGC on October 08, 2024, 07:50:49 AM ---
So it wasn't like i didn't want children because of the state of the world or anything like that.
--- End quote ---
Considering the state of the world right now, yes, having kids now seems difficult. But hell, everything in that regard seems difficult to me. I don't know how people do things like getting married. I don't even know how people have relationships anymore.
As far as sex, I catch my luck here and there enough to keep my sanity. So yes, a man has his needs at the end of the day. But being in a relationship seems like a lot of work to me.
(Obviously there's a financial aspect to all of this. I mean if you had a shit ton of money it may be easy to have relationships and have children. But when you don't have a lot of money, you can't afford to get yourself caught up in any major entanglements)
but just generally speaking like how.. I can barely even keep a friend these days. Keeping up with something like relationship, marrage, family -- is too much for me these days. Like I said, I can't even keep up on friendships anymore.
...but I'm still doing better these days then when I originally made this post, because I like my work. It doesn't pay a lot but I enjoy it, so it's like easy money cause I make money teaching English and my students actually listen to me and care about me and I care about them. Outside the class nobody cares, but if you put on a tie and stand in front of a white board suddenly they are kind to you and listen to what you say.
Soopafly DPGC:
--- Quote from: TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96' on October 09, 2024, 11:35:58 AM ---Considering the state of the world right now, yes, having kids now seems difficult. But hell, everything in that regard seems difficult to me. I don't know how people do things like getting married. I don't even know how people have relationships anymore.
As far as sex, I catch my luck here and there enough to keep my sanity. So yes, a man has his needs at the end of the day. But being in a relationship seems like a lot of work to me.
(Obviously there's a financial aspect to all of this. I mean if you had a shit ton of money it may be easy to have relationships and have children. But when you don't have a lot of money, you can't afford to get yourself caught up in any major entanglements)
but just generally speaking like how.. I can barely even keep a friend these days. Keeping up with something like relationship, marrage, family -- is too much for me these days. Like I said, I can't even keep up on friendships anymore.
...but I'm still doing better these days then when I originally made this post, because I like my work. It doesn't pay a lot but I enjoy it, so it's like easy money cause I make money teaching English and my students actually listen to me and care about me and I care about them. Outside the class nobody cares, but if you put on a tie and stand in front of a white board suddenly they are kind to you and listen to what you say.
--- End quote ---
Relationships are hard work, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Harder work than maintaining a normal friendship. I'd say only 25% of people who are in relationships are truly happy. Most stay in relationships for kids, or for convenience, or for economic reasons, or fear of being alone. But yeah i'd say many people aren't truly 'happy'.
It really concerns me how you continue to require feedback from others in order to feel happy and fulfilled. Just like you said at the end, you are feeling better because of your teaching job. And that's great, but then you have to throw in the part about your students caring about you and listening to you, and that makes you happy. Again, this is an outside variable that you are needing to feel happiness, and that variable is in an ever-changing state of flux. Therefore, your happiness will be in a state of flux as well. And it has nothing to do with a tie and stand as to why people are kind to you at your job. Your students have to be kind to you because your school either requires it, or the students are paying to be there (depending on if you teach at an elementary or college level). When you meet truly kind people, what you wear or your status doesn't matter to them.
Curious as to why you feel you can't keep up on a friendship anymore. What is so difficult about it?
TraceOneInfinite:
--- Quote from: Soopafly DPGC on October 15, 2024, 09:15:15 AM ---Relationships are hard work, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Harder work than maintaining a normal friendship. I'd say only 25% of people who are in relationships are truly happy. Most stay in relationships for kids, or for convenience, or for economic reasons, or fear of being alone. But yeah i'd say many people aren't truly 'happy'.
It really concerns me how you continue to require feedback from others in order to feel happy and fulfilled. Just like you said at the end, you are feeling better because of your teaching job. And that's great, but then you have to throw in the part about your students caring about you and listening to you, and that makes you happy. Again, this is an outside variable that you are needing to feel happiness, and that variable is in an ever-changing state of flux. Therefore, your happiness will be in a state of flux as well. And it has nothing to do with a tie and stand as to why people are kind to you at your job. Your students have to be kind to you because your school either requires it, or the students are paying to be there (depending on if you teach at an elementary or college level). When you meet truly kind people, what you wear or your status doesn't matter to them.
Curious as to why you feel you can't keep up on a friendship anymore. What is so difficult about it?
--- End quote ---
First, I must say thanks for the feedback and insight...I'll respond one by one...
Second, yes, for sure I agree relationships are hard work and 25% of them are unhappy. And I've been there before, I've been the unhappy guy in a relationship and right now I feel better not being that guy. Not having to "work" at anything. I only "work" at my job now--and I like it and I get paid for it.
Thirdly, I agree with you about the feedback/seeking approval/needing affirmation thing. I mean—ideally—you are right and I am working towards having it from within — and making progress towards that. It is of course optimum to have an inner sense of well-being and confidence that is independent of getting props from others.
Last point—I'm not sure about...
...Maybe it's better to use another profession and another analogy. It would be like a stand-up comic. Let's say the guy gets on stage and everybody quiets down and listens to him and hangs on his every word. They all applaud him and show him love. This wouldn't happen if he was a shitty comic. So, I don't think it's just because they "paid" to get into the show. The guy also has to deliver. And then let's say in real life this comic has friends and family and they don't really give a shit what he says and don't think he's actually all that great, and when he talks in real life they always cut him off and mostly ignore him. In fact, Jerry Seinfeld actually used this reality as one of his bits on his show. George, Elaine, and Kramer actually don't think his comedy is that great and often give him tips about how to be more funny.
Finally—my point is, that it can happen in a person's life--that they might be more appreciated by their clients than they are friends and family. As is the case with me.
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