Funny Movie Quotes

[Skindiana bon3z]

Pitch Black:

You got me all wrong holy man, I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely hate the fucker.

Arabian Kid: Captain, Captain... - Fry: I'm not your F***ing Captain!

A Nightmare on Elm Street Series:

Freddy:Sorry boy...I don't believe in fairytailes!

Freddy:This is it Jennifer...your big break in T.V!!! Welcome to PrimeTimeee...BITCH!!! (girl who wanted to be a movie star...after smashing her head through a T.V.....)

1. Freddy? 2. Well I ain't Doctor Seuss

Freddy: How's this for a wetdream? (He drowns the boy.
HINT 2 The boy is having a sexy dream to start with. )

Once Upon A Time In Mexico:

SANDS: Are you a mexican, or a mexican't?

SANDS: Why? y would I want that y would I want bubblegum? MEXICAN KID: **speakin spanish** SANDS: alright alright yea yea yea yea yea.. this *hold up $10* should hold the both of us over for quite a long time.. so.. I dont ever want to see u again. MEXICAN KID: Gracias!!! SANDS:Fuck off!

Sands- Mmmmm. You must try this. It is a slow roasted pork, nothing fancy just happens to be my favorite. And everywhere i go, i order this with a tequila and lime. And this is is by far the best it has been. Anywhere. In fact it is too good. In fact it is so good that after i finish eating, i'm going to walk straight into the kitchen and shoot the cook. because that is what i do. I restore the balance to this country. And i would expect the same from you my friend. El- you want me to shoot the cook? Sands- no i'll shoot the cook, my car's parked out back anyways.

Sands to Taxi Driver-I can't see, you fuck mook!!


Boyz N The Hood:

If she your lady how come I stick my ding-a-ling in her every night?

Don't you call me no ho, I ain't no ho.
Oh, I'm sorry, bitch.

I aint from no Africa you from Africa you African booty scratcher!

Moon, Stars, Quasars, Muthafucka sound like Elroy Jetson.

Man,get your 4 by 4 head off of me!!!!

First off, you don't know what the fuck I be motherfuckin' knowin'.

1) You ain't shit. And you ain't never gonna amount to shit. All you do around here is eat, sleep and shit. 2) Is that it? 1) Hell no that ain't it. It ain't it until i say it's it god damn it. And where you goin you fat fuck, you ain't got a job?

Young Tre: Get yo' punk as brother, bitch! I'll get my daddy. At least I got one, motherfucker!


From Dusk Til' Dawn:

...psychos, did they look like psychos--is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos DO NOT explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are.

Seth Gecko : You and your family could all live forever or die this second...and I don't give a shit which !

Rule #1. You make a noise, Mr. 44 makes a noise. You have a question, Mr. 44 has your answer. You understand? Hostage: Yes. Seth: Good, Rule #2. You do what we say, when we say it, because if you don't, see Rule #1. And don't try to fucking run from us, because I have 6 little friends in here that run hell of a lot faster than you.

1)what are you so agitated about? 2)im still stewin about that ape laying his hand on me. 3)what are you going to do? 4) well im gonna finish this bottle and then im going to bust it over his melon fucking head.

Take advantage of our pussy sale! Buy once piece of pussy, and you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! If you find pussy cheaper anywhere else.....FUCK IT!!!!!!!


Rush Hour:


(yelling)Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

do you speka any english do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth i dont belive this shit first mister ricer rony comes in and he dont even speak any english come on man my ride is over here. put your bag in the back,put your bag in the back.nononononono you put your own shit in the back in not a sky cat in an fbi your understand me .you dont even know what sayen so mmumumumumu

You sound like a karate movie.

I'm hi half brotha, can't you tell I'm Blackanese?!

Whats up,my nigger?

You're asking for me to kick your little Beijing ass, aren't you?

What the HELL did you just say?

What the hell is this? You trying to give me a bucket of grease?

#1 Oh, hell no! You didn't just touch my god damn radio! #2 The Beach Boys are great American music. #1 The Beach Boys are going to get you a great ass whoopin'! Don't you EVER touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China, but you can get your ass killed out here man.

I'm still the law around here! Next time I come in here, you better clean this shit up...and brush your teeth!

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Those are just random quotes I remember that were funny, there's a lot more but I don't feel like postin em' all right now...add to the list....

[bez]

HEYYYYYY U GUUUUUUYS

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

HEYYYYYY U GUUUUUUYS

^^LoL "Goonies"


Freddy is the king of funny one-liners, but I don't feel like posting 'em all up right now...Lemme list the movies of the quotes you put up...

Freddy: Sorry boy...I don't believe in fairytailes!

-Nightmare On Elm Street 3

Freddy: This is it Jennifer...your big break in TV!!! Welcome to Primetime, BITCH!!!

-Nightmare On Elm Street 3

Dan: Krueger!
Freddy: Well I ain't Doctor Seuss

-Nightmare On Elm Street 4

Freddy: How's this for a wet dream?

-Nightmare On Elm Street 4

[white Boy]

Ricky Tan!

[Sikotic™]

Good shit especially the ones of Johnny Depp from Once Upon A Time In Mexico. I always liked the dialogue from that movie.

[Bramsterdam (see ya)]

I will bitch slap you back to Africa!

then in the bloopers in the credits
"DAMN!!! he aint goin' be in Rush Hour 3!"
"The filca fish... i love the filca fish you?"

rush hour 2 is very dope..


in Shaft, when he brings the Peoples Hernandez into the police station and then gets into a thing with this one white cop, after telling him off some other guy getting arested is like "Yo Shaft, I liked the way you handled that"  Shaft " SHUT THE FUCK UP!"...  I dont know its just sweet ..

[davida.b.]

South Park: BL&U

Oh Terrence, you're such a pig fucker
Terrence, why did you call me a pig fucker
Well, first of all, you fuck pigs
Oh Yeah
Ahahahahahahahaha

I don't know why your moms statred the organization, they must be on their periods or something
Mr Garrison, Wendy finds that remark sexist
Well I'm sorry (boys name), I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die

[Bramsterdam (see ya)]

shit i forgot about south park movie lol

Philip " Well fuck my ass and call me a bitch! "

Cartman " Dont call me fat you fuckin jew "
Kyle " now he's mad at you for saying the F word"
Cartman " what, Jew? "
Kyle " no he meant fuck you fuckin fat ass"

holy shit I've never laughed so hard

[pappy]

GHOSTBUSTERS


ray stantz.... everything was fine untill dickless here shut of the protection grid

mayor of nyc.... is this true ?

peter venkman.... yes its true,  this man has no dick

[white Boy]

pulp fiction has the best quotes

[Bramsterdam (see ya)]

^^Yeah

"Hey man, I am the foot fuckin master!"

or after they stab the girl in the heart
"That was fuckin trippy"

[Sikotic™]

pulp fiction has the best quotes

Winston Wolf has my favorite quote

Jimmie : I can't believe this is the same car.
The Wolf : Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet.

[eS El Duque]

shit i forgot about south park movie lol

Philip " Well fuck my ass and call me a bitch! "

Cartman " Dont call me fat you fuckin jew "
Kyle " now he's mad at you for saying the F word"
Cartman " what, Jew? "
Kyle " no he meant fuck you fuckin fat ass"

holy shit I've never laughed so hard

lol..that shit was hilerious

Godfather

Michael : My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.
Kay Adams : Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't have men killed.
Michael : Oh. Who's being naive, Kay?

[i love men who take pictures with their booty's out]

southpark:

brooke shields: i once farted on the set of the blue lagoon...
saddam: ahh come on guy

last dragon :

shonuff: " talkin bout tha wahhhhhhhhhsahhhhhhhhh...legendary bruce leroy ..catchin bullets with his teeth, CATCHIN BULLETS WITH HIS TEETH.. NIGGA PLEASE!!!"

one of the chinese hip hop dudes : " you go now.. chop chop..cooley ass out of dis place!!!"

purple rain:

morris day when apollonia asked him where was jerome: " in his skin..waahhhhhh hawwwwwwww!!!"
morris day when kid(prince was comin down the alley:..(looks) (kid comes by and kicks morris) u longhaired faggott!!!

still bout it ( bout it bout it pt 2)

beeperman: "passsssss the pussy 2 the beeperman.. passs the pussy 2 the beeperman!!"

prostitute: i got us some money today,daddy
pimp: thats good thats good how much
prostitute: think dollars daddy
pimp: how much baby how much?
prostitute: think dollars
pimp: u aint pat sajack muhfucka i aint buyin a vowel..spit it out bitch
( prostitute pulls out a 1 dollar bill)
pimp: a dollar...   bitch u gone make me burp

( the pimps bicycle is low on air)
pimp: i need a lil bit of air in my car
(prostitute gets on the ground and attempts to blow up the bike's tire with her mouth)
pimp: bitch what the fuck u doin..
prostitute: but u told me..
pimp : bitch here...(hands a bicycle pump) ..i like that dedication tho

[white Boy]

pulp fiction has the best quotes

Winston Wolf has my favorite quote

Jimmie : I can't believe this is the same car.
The Wolf : Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet.

that wolf 1 is fuckin hillarious.. 1 of my favs.. thats why pulp fiction is my fav movie.. cause its a fuckin comedy

Jules Winnfield : Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie Dimmick : Knock it off, Julie.
Jules Winnfield : [pause] What?
Jimmie Dimmick : I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I wanjt to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.
Jules Winnfield : Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...
Jimmie Dimmick : No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage?"
Jules Winnfield : Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...
Jimmie Dimmick : Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage?"
Jules Winnfield : [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmie Dimmick : You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules Winnfield : Why?
Jimmie Dimmick : 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why