jokes to make up for the other one

[Leroy]

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader.

This is Leroy's homework assignment.
He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel
everybody.
2. Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other
night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money
foreclose.
5. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my b*tch rectum
both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I
miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a
cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man,
it look fake." He say, "Bullsh*t, that watch Israel".
9 Undermine - They's a fine lookin' ho stayin' in the
crib undermine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me
acoustic and took me to the poolhall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my
uncle Iraq, you break.
12. Stain - My moms-in-law came by and I axed her, "Do
you plan on stain for dinner?"
13 Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?"
she say "fortify."
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my
wife
15. Omelette - I should pop a cap in yo' ass for what
you jus' said, but omelette dis' one slide.

[Leroy]

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I
go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I
get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed
in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells
at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, well, you're obviously taking
the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up
the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the
ass and say,
"WHO'S HORNY".....?!!!" and she acts like she's sound asleep

[Leroy]

One day the teacher asked each student in the class to make-up a small poem. Over half the students had recited their homemade poem when she asked lil Johnny for his poem. Unfortunately, he could not think of one so she told him to sit in the hall until he could make one up. Suddenly, he saw a cockroach climbing up the wall. Without hesitation, he called his teacher to the hall to let her hear his made-up poem." As I sat out in the hall, I saw a cockroach climb up the wall". The teacher looked pleased that Lil Johnny had created his own poem but, she decided to give him some advice. "You do not need to say cockroach, when reciting your poem just say roach and leave the cock out, OK". Lil Johnny then stands in front of the class and says" As I sat out in the hall I saw a roach climb up the wall, WITH HIS COCK OUT !!"

[Leroy]

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they both wanted to go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend any time that they could together.

As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages.

Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't want to do this and increased his calls, letters, and e-mails trying to win back her love. After a while she became annoyed, and because she now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.

So, what she did is this: She took a polaroid picture of her, sucking her new boyfriend's penis, while almost naked and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."

Well, needless to say this guy was heartbroken, but even more so, he was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome.

He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time in college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.

[Leroy]

Last One
Warning this one is raceist

There was a President, a black man, a Pope and a boyscout on a plain that was about to crash. There were only 3 parachutes so the president says i should take one because my country needs me and takes one and jumps. The black man says My fellow Black Americans need me becuase im the smartest black man alive so he takes one and jumps. The pope looks at the boyscout and tells him well my time is almost up and u still have a life to live so ill give you the parachute and the boyscout goes but sir we can both make it, the pope says how there no more parachutes then the boyscout says "yeah but the dumb nigger took my backpack."

[SINLOC]

Last One
Warning this one is raceist

 "yeah but the dumb nigger took my backpack."

lol

[Da WCC Hopar!]

ROTFFLMMFAO AHAHHAHAHHAHA der all funny man i swear LOL

[Leroy]

anyone else like???

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

LOL

[white Boy]

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they both wanted to go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend any time that they could together.

As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages.

Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't want to do this and increased his calls, letters, and e-mails trying to win back her love. After a while she became annoyed, and because she now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.

So, what she did is this: She took a polaroid picture of her, sucking her new boyfriend's penis, while almost naked and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."

Well, needless to say this guy was heartbroken, but even more so, he was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome.

He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time in college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.

i like this, sounds realistic, good idea

[Bramsterdam (see ya)]

hahaha, pretty much all of em i had a laugh

[eS El Duque]

shit man. .all were fuckin funny lol  

[Suffice]

good shit man. Funny as hell.
Here's one i remember similar to the last one u posted.

so michel jackson, a black guy, a little kid, and a pilot are on a small airplate, when a bird flies into the ingine and the engine blows up. There's only 3 parachutes. The pilot quickly takes one and jumps out. Michael and the black guy are talkin about what to do... So michael jackson goes "i'll give up my parachute to the kid, he's too young to die." So the black guy goes.. "Man, fuck the kid". Michael goes "U think i have time for that?"

I know, it's not as good, but i remember this one from 6th grade Lol