Scottish Inventions

[Mac 10 †]

Scottish Inventions

The average Englishman in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by Charles Mackintosh from Glasgow, SCOTLAND. En route to his office he strides along an English lane surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, SCOTLAND. Sometimes he drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, SCOTLAND. At the office he receives the mail, bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, SCOTLAND. During the day he uses the telephone, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, SCOTLAND. At home in the evening, his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by blacksmith Kirkpatrick Macmillan of Dumfries, SCOTLAND. He watches the news on television, invented by John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, SCOTLAND, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy, founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, SCOTLAND. He has by now been reminded too much of SCOTLAND and in desperation he picks up the bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a SCOT, King James VI, who authorised its translation. Nowhere can an Englishman escape the ingenuity of the SCOTS. He could take to drink, but the SCOTS make the best in the world. He could take a rifle and end it all, but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, SCOTLAND. If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table, being injected with penicillin, discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, SCOTLAND, and given an anaesthetic, discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, SCOTLAND. On coming out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England, founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, SCOTLAND.

 

[Woozie]

Scotland also invented football...


"In 1872 Queen’s Park FC hosted the world’s first international against England. It was played at the West of Scotland Cricket Ground in Partick, Glasgow."

"The English clubs started importing players to teach English players the passing and running game. They called them ‘Scotch Professors’. When England was still divided over which set of rules to use, Scotland had the Scottish Football Association (SFA), one set of rules for Cup-ties and one style. The SFA was the world’s first true national association."

"The English FA fought to stop the Scottish game taking over. They lost. It’s funny then how you will read how the ‘combination game’ of passing and running was perfected by Preston North End in England, they had eight Scots in their team! You will read that the Brazilians learnt football from the English (no they didn’t: Archie McLean was from Paisley near Glasgow) or that England invented football. Why spoil a good story with the truth?"

[Shahizzle]

Damn, never knew the scottis invented all those things

thank God for them 

[BOX5 the best poster on this site yell]

good shit no doubt yell

[Mindless Minority]

Scotland also invented football...


"In 1872 Queen’s Park FC hosted the world’s first international against England. It was played at the West of Scotland Cricket Ground in Partick, Glasgow."

"The English clubs started importing players to teach English players the passing and running game. They called them ‘Scotch Professors’. When England was still divided over which set of rules to use, Scotland had the Scottish Football Association (SFA), one set of rules for Cup-ties and one style. The SFA was the world’s first true national association."

"The English FA fought to stop the Scottish game taking over. They lost. It’s funny then how you will read how the ‘combination game’ of passing and running was perfected by Preston North End in England, they had eight Scots in their team! You will read that the Brazilians learnt football from the English (no they didn’t: Archie McLean was from Paisley near Glasgow) or that England invented football. Why spoil a good story with the truth?"

You complete and utter shit cunt. The first game of football was in 1872 eh? Don't talk shit.

[Woozie]

You complete and utter shit cunt. The first game of football was in 1872 eh? Don't talk shit.

1.it is a quote so i didnt say it
2.international doesn't mean 1st game of football ever
3.get educated fool

 

[Mindless Minority]

You said Scotland invented football, not that they played the first international game. They clearly didn't.

And what's this blowing a kiss thing? You a sneaky cock watching cunt eh?

[wilz]

Scotland invented football and Golf so stick it up ur faggot ass english cunt

[J Bananas]

Good shit man now we know that the earth would be just as barren without Scotts as it would be without African Americans. God bless tyres and the mop.

[Shahizzle]

LOL ... scotts versing brits all over again, cant we all just get along 

[Don Seer]

Scotland invented football and Golf so stick it up ur faggot ass english cunt

scotland invented faggots too! 

[Mindless Minority]

Shame you can't play it for shit though eh Wilz?

Might be up Scotland way in a few months, whereabouts are you?

[ainsy]

scotland invented faggots too!   
  gr8 comeback mate (Y),  we invented sarcasm too (Y)

nyways its clear to say that wifout us scottish the world wood be shite, and it looks as tho thers quite alot of scottish ppl in this site, takin over this shit lol

[Mindless Minority]

Yeah but smackhead numbers would be down, wouldn't they?

[Don Seer]

^ ROFL

thanks to movies.. americans think either

1) scots are junkies a'la trainspotting

or

2) scots are like "fat bastard" from austin powers 


p.s. england gave mike myers his first tv break