Author Topic: party manicfesto - monster raving loony party! (Read 271 times)

Don Seer · « **on:** May 06, 2005, 03:13:55 AM »

bit late.. the best british party

http://omrlp.brinkster.net/Manicfesto2005.asp

great british tradition

my favourites..

"We will issue a 99p coin to save on change. "

"The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND. "

"In order to combat motorway congestion we will immediately close all motorways to all vehicles with the exception of bicycles to encourage our green policy and fitness. Any bicycles with more than 3 gears will also be banned for safety reasons. Apart from anything else this will allow police to get on with catching burglars. Traffic cops who are not intelligent enough to cope with proper police work will be allowed to wear their uniforms for a transitional period before being re trained as vicars. "

"Pram lanes will be created in all shopping centres. "

"All speed cameras will be abolished and replaced by a new device fitted to your cars which will automatically slow down to the speed limit when driven though an infra-red beam. This will also apply to police cars; their device will be set to 5 mph though built up areas. "

"All police will be made to say HELLO, HELLO, HELLO when making an arrest, this will treble the police force. "

"All food shall be clearly labelled “Recommended for Oral Use”.

All fast food will be clearly labelled “May contain traces of real food”. "

"To solve the increasing obesity problem and global warming, all TVs and home computers must be run only by exercycle generators. A phase-in period of this major remedy will be allowed - maybe 5 to 5m minutes. "