Favourite Simpsons line

[KURUPTION-81]

thought id up this

Homer: I know how ya feel boy, this one time when I was a kid, I wanted a catchers mitt soo bad and my dad wouldn't get me one. so I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on a coffee table, the doctor said I might have brain damage....

Bart: Dad whats the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories

[Don Jacob]

the ending of the one tonight was funny


Bart: ahhh nelson, i'll always remember the week we were best friends
Nelson: HA HA! I touched your heart!

[Bones01]

"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'" -Homer Simpson

LMAO! classic Simpsons there. Too hard to name one quote too many memeroble ones

[Raphael]

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

[Moe is making a fortune from Homer's drink recipe]
Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.
Homer: Ooh, look at me. I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane.
[walks out, slams door, then sticks head back in]
Homer: Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic.
Marge: Well, duh.

 

[Hoodlum204]

mr plow episode

homer: mr plow thats my name! that name again is mr plow!

don't remember this one

homer: SAXAMAPHOOOOOOONE! SAXXAAAMAAAAPHOOOOOOOOOOONE!

[AboveTheLaw]

- That episode in which Homer needs heart surgery, lying in his hospital bed next to Flanders:

Flanders: Homer if I could Give you my Heart I would...

Homer: Shutup Flanders...

- The one where Springfield is burglarized and Homer gets Lisa a Jug to replace her stolen Sax, just the way he started dancing and laughing in that scene gets me everytime!

- Homer going to College to earn his Nuclear Degree. The Professor in the lecture hall breaks the ice by saying "I see a lot of new faces, but as they say "out with the old and in with the new-tron'.

Everyone but homer laughs. Then the Professor drops his papers and Homer busts out hysterically.

[Hoodlum204]

im just guessing the lines here so if anyone can clarify these it would be great! but anyways i was thinkin of this scene lastnight and i just busted out laughing and my siblings was like WTF!....lol....anyways that scene was funny! it was the episode where all the teachers go on strike and they springfield residents have to substitute.
the old man with a bald head and grey beard is standing in front of the class holding a beating stick getting ready to to teach and he talking to the students....

old man (unsure of name) : "talking out of line! Thats A Paddlin! passing letters! Thats A Paddlin! Chewing Gum in class!......Oh You Better Believe Thats A Paddlin!"

damn! that shit had me rolling!

[big mat]

hans moleman is the funniest character

[Teddy Roosevelt]

im just guessing the lines here so if anyone can clarify these it would be great! but anyways i was thinkin of this scene lastnight and i just busted out laughing and my siblings was like WTF!....lol....anyways that scene was funny! it was the episode where all the teachers go on strike and they springfield residents have to substitute.
the old man with a bald head and grey beard is standing in front of the class holding a beating stick getting ready to to teach and he talking to the students....

old man (unsure of name) : "talking out of line! Thats A Paddlin! passing letters! Thats A Paddlin! Chewing Gum in class!......Oh You Better Believe Thats A Paddlin!"

damn! that shit had me rolling!

It goes...

Talking out of turn...that's a paddling.  Looking out the window...that's a paddling.  Staring at my sandals...that's a paddling.  Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling.

[Raphael]

Grandpa: I fell eight thousand feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. Of course, folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbugging that very night.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

Homer uses a map and directions to duck out of work early. he encounters a giant spider.

Homer [Reading]: To avoid the spiders curse, simply quote a Bible verse. Though shall not [pause]... [throws a rock at the sipider]

Frink in the past: I beilieve that computers will be so big and so expensive that only the 5 richest kings of Europe will be able to afford them.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

After watching Barney's film about how is life has been ruined.

Homer: I'll never drink alcohol again.
Vendor: Cold beer here!
Homer: I'll take ten.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

Mr. Burns: Ahh. 60 watts? What do you think this is, a tanning salon?

Homer: Look at those phonies, sucking up to Bush.
[Santa's Little Helper runs off after them]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. [laughs]
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer: the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh!

[Tha Crip]

"Release The Hounds" - Mr. Burns

[Bones01]

Homer: Look at those phonies, sucking up to Bush.
[Santa's Little Helper runs off after them]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. [laughs]
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer: the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh!

lmao! don't think i've seen this episode. need to the get the box set or something