West Coast Connection Forum

Lifestyle => Train of Thought => Topic started by: Now_Im_Not_Banned on May 01, 2006, 12:25:55 PM

Title: Jesus
Post by: Now_Im_Not_Banned on May 01, 2006, 12:25:55 PM
(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a187/aws87/aminals.jpg)
(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a187/aws87/jesusnator.jpg)
(http://www.mygeekyplace.net/jesus/j2.jpg)
(http://www.jaypinkerton.com/comics/jesus/ohjesus3.jpg)
(http://louisianadrunkass.com/img/funny_jesus_6.gif)
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Twentytwofifty on May 01, 2006, 12:42:50 PM
I'm offended.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Machiavelli on May 01, 2006, 12:51:59 PM
okay
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Diabolical on May 01, 2006, 12:56:16 PM
lmao

nice
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Just Another Sunny day in California on May 01, 2006, 04:58:48 PM
i think that's wrong, whether you believe in him or not.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Mo Z. Dizzle on May 01, 2006, 05:00:37 PM
i think that's wrong, whether you believe in him or not.

i agree
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: WestCoasta on May 01, 2006, 05:10:29 PM
man, fuck the wrong shit

shit had me laughin so hard  :laugh:


(http://www.jaypinkerton.com/comics/jesus/ohjesus3.jpg)

(http://louisianadrunkass.com/img/funny_jesus_6.gif)
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: QuietTruth on May 01, 2006, 05:44:13 PM
 :nawty: Tisc Tisc

(http://home.columbus.rr.com/landonproctor/jesus.jpg)
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Deeez Nuuuts on May 01, 2006, 06:18:18 PM
That's pretty racist.







On the other hand, here's my contribution.

(http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/8443/jesussaves45yg3hg3xn.gif)
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Sikotic™ on May 01, 2006, 06:21:40 PM
Forgive them, father, for they have sinned.....


(http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/7763/babyeatingjesus4hp.gif)
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: africas seed on May 01, 2006, 06:32:23 PM
i think that's wrong, whether you believe in him or not.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: coola on May 01, 2006, 07:01:09 PM
thats pretty fucked up..
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: coola on May 01, 2006, 07:03:56 PM
i think that's wrong, whether you believe in him or not.

goto agree with that..
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: J Bananas on May 01, 2006, 07:10:17 PM
u guys are pussies that was funny
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Shallow on May 01, 2006, 08:09:00 PM
Some I thought were funny. Some I thought were stupid. None offended me in anyway. Jesus can take care of himself, and he'd probably be more upset with people getting angry about it rather than people making jokes.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Sikotic™ on May 01, 2006, 08:13:50 PM
Jesus has a sense of humor. While else would he create irony and blast people on site?
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: WestCoasta on May 01, 2006, 08:18:07 PM
Jesus has a sense of humor. While else would he create irony and blast people on site?

for real... and why would he love such a nut/con artist:

(http://myspace-278.vo.llnwd.net/00679/87/26/679656278_l.gif) (http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/5995/682943493l8qp.jpg)

Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Trauma-san on May 01, 2006, 09:36:08 PM
It doesn't offend me, I just think it's kind of sad that people miss the point.  When you see somebody so blind, you just gotta shake your head.  I laugh constantly and love a good joke especially if it's off color, but finding a great person and then making the equivalent of fart jokes about them isn't hilarious, it's just immature in a sad way... not a 'stop being immature way', in a 'that poor kid must be lonely' way.  I've heard funny Jesus jokes, none of those are funny, just easy plain boring 4th grader stuff.  Here's some funny ones.


1. "Jesus is coming--and boy, is he pissed!"  (my favorite)

2. "If Jesus really was a Jew, what's up with the Latino name?"

3. "Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles
and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug
consumption problem all over the earth.
  After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that
in order to better deal with the problem, that they should try
the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way to
proceed. It was therefore decided that a commission made up of
some of the members return to earth to get the different types
of drugs.
  The secret operation is effected and two days later the
commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven.  Jesus,
waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Paul"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Paul?"
  "Hashish from Morocco"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Mark"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Mark?"
  "Marijuana from Colombia"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Matthew"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Matthew ?"
  "Cocaine from Bolivia"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's John"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring John ?"
  "Crack from New York"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  It's Luke"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Luke ?"
  "Speed from Amsterdam"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Judas"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Judas ?"
  "The FBI, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!  EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!"
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: coola on May 01, 2006, 10:40:54 PM
Some I thought were funny. Some I thought were stupid. None offended me in anyway. Jesus can take care of himself, and he'd probably be more upset with people getting angry about it rather than people making jokes.

no-one here is getting angry, but Jesus isn't here to take care of himself is he ? I wasn't offended either, but i think these cartoons are stupid.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: coola on May 01, 2006, 10:43:31 PM
It doesn't offend me, I just think it's kind of sad that people miss the point.  When you see somebody so blind, you just gotta shake your head.  I laugh constantly and love a good joke especially if it's off color, but finding a great person and then making the equivalent of fart jokes about them isn't hilarious, it's just immature in a sad way... not a 'stop being immature way', in a 'that poor kid must be lonely' way.  I've heard funny Jesus jokes, none of those are funny, just easy plain boring 4th grader stuff.  Here's some funny ones.


1. "Jesus is coming--and boy, is he pissed!"  (my favorite)

2. "If Jesus really was a Jew, what's up with the Latino name?"

3. "Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles
and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug
consumption problem all over the earth.
  After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that
in order to better deal with the problem, that they should try
the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way to
proceed. It was therefore decided that a commission made up of
some of the members return to earth to get the different types
of drugs.
  The secret operation is effected and two days later the
commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven.  Jesus,
waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Paul"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Paul?"
  "Hashish from Morocco"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Mark"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Mark?"
  "Marijuana from Colombia"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Matthew"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Matthew ?"
  "Cocaine from Bolivia"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's John"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring John ?"
  "Crack from New York"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  It's Luke"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Luke ?"
  "Speed from Amsterdam"
  "Very well son, come in."
  "Who is it?"
  "It's Judas"
  Jesus opens the door.
  "What did you bring Judas ?"
  "The FBI, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!  EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!"


LMAO !!! those were quite amusing.. i agree with you 100% aswell.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Teddy Roosevelt on May 01, 2006, 10:44:48 PM
I wasn't offended either, but i think these cartoons are stupid.
I agree. Although "Jesus Saves" was kind of funny.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Now_Im_Not_Banned on May 01, 2006, 11:33:46 PM
Forgive them, father, for they have sinned.....


(http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/7763/babyeatingjesus4hp.gif)


LMAO...I posted this one a long ass time ago.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: coola on May 01, 2006, 11:38:26 PM
^ i dont think i will ever grasp why thats funny...
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Now_Im_Not_Banned on May 01, 2006, 11:38:59 PM
LOL@Trauma ...Man, you're lame as fuck. The shit I posted was 30X funnier, WTF is "Jesus is coming--and boy, is he pissed!"??. LMAO...You guys are a bunch of fuckin lame ass pussies... :-*
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: ecrazy on May 01, 2006, 11:42:31 PM


2. "If Jesus really was a Jew, what's up with the Latino name?"



LMAO!!

and i was not offended, i know NIK is trying to get a rise outta everyone, there is no problem, if you get mad, well, sucks for you
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96' on May 01, 2006, 11:49:34 PM
Jesus has a sense of humor. While else would he create irony and blast people on site?

Jesus doesn't have the power to create anything.  He was himself created.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Sikotic™ on May 01, 2006, 11:52:05 PM
Jesus has a sense of humor. While else would he create irony and blast people on site?

Jesus doesn't have the power to create anything.  He was himself created.

According to your beliefs, not mine.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96' on May 01, 2006, 11:52:10 PM
Jesus can take care of himself

If Jesus could take care of himself then why was he always praying to God for help and crying out, "Oh God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?"
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: BizzyR.I.P. on May 01, 2006, 11:54:24 PM
Jesus can take care of himself

If Jesus could take care of himself then why was he always praying to God for help and crying out, "Oh God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?"
::) Then you cry like a little bitch when people talk down on your religion.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Sikotic™ on May 02, 2006, 12:05:15 AM
Jesus can take care of himself

If Jesus could take care of himself then why was he always praying to God for help and crying out, "Oh God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?"

Because according to MY beliefs and not YOURS, God's plan for salvation involved Jesus taking all of the sins of the world upon himself, punishing (or forsaking) his own Son when really we deserve to suffer eternal death.

Now that's what I and many Christians get out of the scriptures. You, being Muslim and looking for a reason to justify YOUR beliefs, probably get something completely different out of the same scripture. I'm sure I could do the same to the Quran, but I refuse to stoop to those levels.

It's called interpretation. There's no right or wrong answer. If there is, prove it.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96' on May 02, 2006, 12:09:59 AM

Because according to MY beliefs and not YOURS, God's plan for salvation involved Jesus taking all of the sins of the world upon himself, punishing (or forsaking) his own Son when really we deserve to suffer eternal death.

Now that's what I and many Christians get out of the scriptures. You, being Muslim and looking for a reason to justify YOUR beliefs, probably get something completely different out of the same scripture. I'm sure I could do the same to the Quran, but I refuse to stoop to those levels.

It's called interpretation. There's no right or wrong answer. If there is, prove it.


I already did prove it.  But I can easily prove it again and again and again.  Here's another proof...

1.  God can not die.  It's a fact.  There's no way that God can die.  Yet Christians believe that Jesus is God and that he was killed (died) and then was ressurected.

Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Just Another Sunny day in California on May 02, 2006, 12:12:34 AM

Because according to MY beliefs and not YOURS, God's plan for salvation involved Jesus taking all of the sins of the world upon himself, punishing (or forsaking) his own Son when really we deserve to suffer eternal death.

Now that's what I and many Christians get out of the scriptures. You, being Muslim and looking for a reason to justify YOUR beliefs, probably get something completely different out of the same scripture. I'm sure I could do the same to the Quran, but I refuse to stoop to those levels.

It's called interpretation. There's no right or wrong answer. If there is, prove it.


I already did prove it.  But I can easily prove it again and again and again.  Here's another proof...

1.  God can not die.  It's a fact.  There's no way that God can die.  Yet Christians believe that Jesus is God and that he was killed (died) and then was ressurected.



actually, Jesus is the Son of God, so if you think about it God is in Jesus himself.  I think you're just finding another way to make your religion and beliefs look better than those held by Christians
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Sikotic™ on May 02, 2006, 12:30:54 AM

Because according to MY beliefs and not YOURS, God's plan for salvation involved Jesus taking all of the sins of the world upon himself, punishing (or forsaking) his own Son when really we deserve to suffer eternal death.

Now that's what I and many Christians get out of the scriptures. You, being Muslim and looking for a reason to justify YOUR beliefs, probably get something completely different out of the same scripture. I'm sure I could do the same to the Quran, but I refuse to stoop to those levels.

It's called interpretation. There's no right or wrong answer. If there is, prove it.


I already did prove it.  But I can easily prove it again and again and again.  Here's another proof...

1.  God can not die.  It's a fact.  There's no way that God can die.  Yet Christians believe that Jesus is God and that he was killed (died) and then was ressurected.



No, you proved nothing. You asked a question, I answered it....didn't prove it, but I answered it based on my beliefs. You don't accept my answer because it contradicts your beliefs.

You say it is a fact that God can't die. Is it really a fact God can not die?  Can you prove this with evidence or is this what you believe to be true?
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96' on May 02, 2006, 12:38:56 AM

No, you proved nothing. You asked a question, I answered it....didn't prove it, but I answered it based on my beliefs. You don't accept my answer because it contradicts your beliefs.

You say it is a fact that God can't die. Is it really a fact God can not die?  Can you prove this with evidence or is this what you believe to be true?


Yes, I can, because if God died, then who was maintiaining and sustaining Heaven and Earth while God was dead?
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: coola on May 02, 2006, 03:59:12 AM
Jesus can take care of himself

If Jesus could take care of himself then why was he always praying to God for help and crying out, "Oh God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?"

HA ! look at how much Jesus had to go through, what have you suffered in comparison to Jesus ?

Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Trauma-san on May 02, 2006, 06:11:49 AM
LOL@Trauma ...Man, you're lame as fuck. The shit I posted was 30X funnier, WTF is "Jesus is coming--and boy, is he pissed!"??. LMAO...You guys are a bunch of fuckin lame ass pussies... :-*

That's because your mind isn't developed enough to notice subtle humour, which is always more funny.  The only joke you can get is when something is blatantly different, like Jesus eating a baby.  Your weed-riddled mind can't see the difference in anything else, so you wouldn't get why a joke like "Jesus is coming-- and boy, is he pissed!" is funny.  Dont' worry about it, you were probably that fucking stupid BEFORE the weed. 
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Trauma-san on May 02, 2006, 06:18:44 AM

Because according to MY beliefs and not YOURS, God's plan for salvation involved Jesus taking all of the sins of the world upon himself, punishing (or forsaking) his own Son when really we deserve to suffer eternal death.

Now that's what I and many Christians get out of the scriptures. You, being Muslim and looking for a reason to justify YOUR beliefs, probably get something completely different out of the same scripture. I'm sure I could do the same to the Quran, but I refuse to stoop to those levels.

It's called interpretation. There's no right or wrong answer. If there is, prove it.


I already did prove it.  But I can easily prove it again and again and again.  Here's another proof...

1.  God can not die.  It's a fact.  There's no way that God can die.  Yet Christians believe that Jesus is God and that he was killed (died) and then was ressurected.



Step aside, folks.  I'll adequately handle this one. 

1.  You are correct.  God cannot die.  Jesus was punished for the sins of all man precisely for this reason.  If I (or you, much weaker than I) were punished for even our sins, it would kill us before the job was done.  You can only kill a man once... so Jesus was chosen for the job and born immortal so that he could be punished infinitely if needed and it not kill him.  Jesus didn't die on the cross, he gave up his soul to return to heaven.. the bible is actually very clear about this, but you're not really intelligent enough to grasp it.  When Christ was in the garden, he was punished for all of mans sins at the same time, and he bled from every pore.  This is when Christ famously uttered "why have you forsaken me" or whatever you're hacking his words into.  He also said take this bitter cup from my lips, but if not, thy will be done", showing complete accordance with his fathers wishes.  Later, on the cross, he (after a few hours) raised his head and said Father forgive them for they know not what they do, other accounts have him saying that he commended his soul to heaven.  Either way, in Roman times, men did not die in 4 or 5 hours on the cross, because it doesn't kill you.  The sun kills you, the birds kill you, etc.  When the Romans stabbed Christ in the side to speed along his death (like they did most crucifix victims), water poured out of his side before blood, because his heart had already stopped beating, indicating he was already dead.  Since no man dies simply from hanging on a cross for 5 hours, and since Christ pronounced his own death, it seems apparent that the man had the ability to decide when his life would be over, and took that opportunity to do it. 

So as you can see, where you were attempting to use the scriptures as proof of your beliefs, I just fully explained how they're actually proof of the opposite. 

Conclusion: Don't quote the bible to me, boy. 
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Don Seer on May 02, 2006, 11:12:12 AM

i see why infinite walked away from christianity.. he was to stupid to get the whole father/son/holy ghost thing which most 5 year olds at sunday school 'get'
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: Now_Im_Not_Banned on May 02, 2006, 11:17:27 AM
LOL@Trauma ...Man, you're lame as fuck. The shit I posted was 30X funnier, WTF is "Jesus is coming--and boy, is he pissed!"??. LMAO...You guys are a bunch of fuckin lame ass pussies... :-*

That's because your mind isn't developed enough to notice subtle humour, which is always more funny.  The only joke you can get is when something is blatantly different, like Jesus eating a baby.  Your weed-riddled mind can't see the difference in anything else, so you wouldn't get why a joke like "Jesus is coming-- and boy, is he pissed!" is funny.  Dont' worry about it, you were probably that fucking stupid BEFORE the weed. 


Actually, no. That shit is just straight out not funny.  I have a mind of my own, I love all sorts of funny movies, from dark comedies to camp... it's not like I don't understand what's going on. Your shit is just straight out LAME. Like something Jimmy from "South Park" would say...Now shut the fuck up, because you're not smarter than anyone on here, you just try your hardest to make it seem that way by talking down the intelligence level of others...Fuckin' square.
Title: Re: Jesus
Post by: coola on May 03, 2006, 02:20:30 AM

i see why infinite walked away from christianity.. he was to stupid to get the whole father/son/holy ghost thing which most 5 year olds at sunday school 'get'

LOL