what was the best "punchline" ever heard?

[Nigga_With_An_Additude]

don't quote me boy cuz I ain't said shit-Eazy E

[Jaydc555]

Try to follow how every punch line hits
Like Chris Brown's fist in the face of Rihanna

In this industry im trying not to get
raped like 2pac in jail
-Chino Xl

[NillerTheKid]

new Papoose, for those who's been missing him 

http://dotgotit.blogspot.com/2009/08/dj-kay-slay-ft-va-heard-of-us-remix.html

[Hell´s Angel]

In this industry im trying not to get
raped like 2pac in jail

that was cold.but they squashed the beef.

[OG Hack Wilson]

In this industry im trying not to get
raped like 2pac in jail

that was cold.but they squashed the beef.

its really "BY this industry, i'm trying not to get fucked, like 2pac in jail"


not raped

[QuietTruth]

Papoose's Military Grind been 'coming soon' since June, prolly even earlier. On the local radio, weeks ago, son said he got the album done. Here's my thoughts....He got the album done??? What the fuck?

Anyways..

Niggas is mad I get more butt than ash trays
- Biggie

I rip up, swell your lip up, it's a stick up
Make put your hands on your head like you was doin sit-ups
Lost Boyz and DPG causin trouble
we out of control like involuntary muscle
- Canibus

In jail CO's walk around like zookeepers
My niggas been to the board more than a schoolteacher

You would've thought he swallowed cement
The way I had him shittin' bricks
 - Papoose

[afgmafia]

"ima show you wata genius is you little punk ur on my nuts more than my own penis is." - Locksmith
"Life's a bitch but god-forbid the bitch divorce me" - Nas
"You may be the king but the Ace is back" - Dr. Dre (Jay-Z )
"Ill punch u so hard in ur balls even ur sperm will come out wit black eyes" - Locksmith

and the first verse of AZ's Uncut Raw is filled wit punchlines

[KaiserSoze]

"Like a foot doctor, I have you staring at de-feat" - Papoose

[EAZY-LI]

(eazy-e) bow down bow wow the big downs in town and
them guts is the only thing a brother  pound

big L- i use break locks with a crow bar i wasn't poor
i was po i couldn't afford the O,R

BIG-L- i knocked out so many teeth i tooth fairy went bankrupt

big L- filled him with  so much lead he could use his dick for pencil

big L- i blew his brains out on the street now you see what he was just thinking

nas- i squeeze nipples like pimples to get the puss

eazy-e - throw him the trunk with other punk smoking deathrow like Philly blunt

eazy-e beat that ass up now call me kurupt

b-real- i got cube melting in a tray pulling up his card and fucking up his good day

[Hatesrats™]

Big Pun - "Watch Those"

"Put my foot so far up your ass
the sweat on my knee'll quench your thirst

{OOOOOH! *long slurrrrrrrp* .. "Thanks Pun!"}"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Big Pun - "Dream Shatterer"

"Ay-yo I shatter dreams like Jordan, assault and batter your team
Your squadron'll be barred from rap like Adam & Eve from the garden
I'm carvin' my initials on your forehead
So every night before bed you see the "BP" shine off the board head
Reverse that, I curse at the first wack nigga with the worst rap
Cuz he ain't worth jack
hit 'em with a thousand pounds of pressure per slap
Make his whole body jerk back, watch the earth crack
hand him his purse back
I'm the first Latin rapper to baffle your skull
Master the flow, niggaz be swearin' I'm blacker than coal
Like Nat King, I be rapping and tounge's packing
The ones, magnums, cannons and gatling guns
It's Big Pun!  The one and only son of Tony...Montana
You ain't promised manana in the rotten manzana
C'mon-pana we need more rhymers
feel the marijuana snake bite anaconda
A man of honour wouldn't wanna try to match my persona
Sometimes rhymin' I blow my own mind like Nirvana
Comma, and go the whole nine like Madonna
Go try to find another rhymer with my kinda gramma

CHORUS -- When you awaken, your manhood'll be taken
          Fakin' like you Satan when I'm the rhymin' abomination (2x)

I'm pure adrenaline, uncut, straight to your gut, medicine
Raw cure for pain I coat your brain like polyurathane
Simple and plain, I'll explain it in layman terms
If you came to learn how to make fire, I'm-a make it burn!
Higher and hotter than lava this scholar
is 'bout just as smart as MacGyver
To put honor inside the heart of a lion
revolved in a life of crime (crime!)
Fuck it I like the shine (shine!), Up in the white and lime (lime!)
Comes with the pipe design
Plushed out! (No doubt!) Both pockets about to bust out
If you not in it for the spinach, GET THE FUCK OUT!
Take a hike, we can even battle to make it right
Go 'head lace the mic, you finished?  Say good night...
Head to head in the street, I'll leave you dead in your feet
Settlin' beef, I'll even let you rhyme to the Benjamin beat
But it won't matter, you dreams still gon' shatter
It's a long ladder to climb and mine is on the stagger
So get outta town, 'fore I hit you
with the loudest sound you ever heard
Desert bird player you outta bounds

CHORUS (3x)

You need the Pun to dis you if your whole steez is unofficial
I'll come and get you and let the desert eez tounge kiss you
With one pistol and two clips, I'll make your crew do flips
Like acrobatics, I'm charismatic, my gat is magic
It makes rappers disappear, whipser in your ear
Crystal clear, come here, let me kiss your tears
Everything you fear is here, you ain't got to search further
The first murder's the worst now I thirst further for reverse birth
Every verse hurts, every curse word's already more offending
Than Eddie Murph's worst
I thirst for blood like a vampire, any man claimin' his game's tighter
IS A GOD DAMN LIAR!
I set 'em on fire, retire your train of thought
Drain a quart of blood out your brain and leave you insane in the dark
The king of New York!  Lays his crown in the Boogie Down
And sprays the town, with a Mac hoodied down
I'm no joke! (Yuh!!) I soak your face with a sweeper
Dying disgrace, I'll face your death through the speaker

CHORUS (4x) to fade out
----------------------------------------
Can't no rapper fuck with that song!!!

[Rudki]

"i dont write punch lines i write fuckin punch rhymes "

" Avoid battlin me like im eazy e's blood sample"

"My style is welfare: Half a' you bitches is on it."


CHINO XL

[StreetsAllSalute]

artist & reportaire saw him in action..~//
pac assasination Def Jam grabbed him..~//
told him renact him you'll go platinum..~//

-Obie


aint no need to explain you not my man..~//
everytime u give me 5 i wash my hands..~//

-cormega

yeah u shining but the only thing u leaving out..~//
ur a candle in the sun that shit dont even out..~//

jay-z

[2euce 7even]

aint no need to explain you not my man..~//
everytime u give me 5 i wash my hands..~//

-cormega

 

[Jaydc555]

Damn this one made me go did he really just say that.
Joe Budden on cuckoo- towel on the bed fuck while she bloody and call it soo woop

[nuk23]

I don't really consider this a punchline.. But just a dope line that came to my mind.

I started out starvin...
Now they got me out here Brett Farve'n
Tryna see if I still got it...  Got it?
I guess its like a bike, think about it!
  -Andre3000

That whole verse was filled w/ jems, but I especially like how he ended it.  The Brett Farve line was great back then(when he was deciding whether or not he was gonna come back the 1st time s the packers) but Now it takes on even more significance, after going to the jets, retiring and then coming back with the whole Vikings situation.
And the last line is amazing to me, cuz I had to do exactly what he said.. I was confused why he mentioned a bike, so I had to think about it, and then after I thought about it, I realized what he was trying to say and it made perfect sense.  It was like one of those "ooohhh i get it now" moments!