Your Worst Drunk Stories...

[Primo]

one time i drank a lot of everclear..I ended up walking to blockbuster video and knocking over evey damn movie off the shelves..another time i threw a huge rock threw the ice cream mans window..

[smerlus]

i remember when i was living in Japan me and a  bunch of friends went out to tokyo. they have this little club district named Shibuya....it was a while ago and i don't remember what i drank all i know is that it was coronas, tequila and goldslugger.

that night we decided not to shut the bar down and leave so we can walk to the train station and catch the first train back home so we head back and we see a ship thats used for sightseeing and shit. it has a gangway up to it but the gangway has a little fence on it, so us being smart and drunk, we think it would be a good idea to fuck around on this ship. 3-4 of us make it to the other side of the fence and my one friend gets up to the ship and this alarm goes off. sirens all over the gangway, pier and ship. so we run as fast as we can, hop the fence and just run down this street.

we're running down the street and these 2 guys are ahead of me, they jump over these bushes at the end of the street and they dissappear....once again i'm smart and drunk so i think nothing of it. i run and jump over the bushes to see a nice 10 foot drop onto cement. luckily we all made it with just some minor scrapes and cuts.

now we were on the side and under us, about 20 more feet down was a highway. the only way to get across this highway is either climb back up the wall or walk across on this metal fencing that was bolted all the way across. me being one of the lightest....and smartest, decided to try my luck. i start walking across and it was fine, so i invite the rest of my boys to join in crossing the street. when we got to about the middle, we noticed that the fence was alot like a trampoline, so we spent the next 15 minutes jumping around over a highway.

after that we were pretty good until this one guy stole a bike (japanese rarely chain up bikes since they all have to be registered like cars) so he was doing BMX tricks on it and shit. i wanted to see if i could still ride a bike, so i'm strolling around on it and we come to an intersection and i see the military police out cruising. i decide to jump off the bike and let it hit the guard rail then walk away slowly. well that got the attention of the police which then came over to harass us. i told them i just pushed my friend into the bike and we were just messing around. we got off with the usually police threats.

we made our way to the train station without anymore trouble and headed back home

[SGV]

Your Japanese? I thought you were a white guy.

[smerlus]

i'm 1/2 puerto rican 1/2 white and i lived in japan for two years among other places

[SGV]

i'm 1/2 puerto rican 1/2 white and i lived in japan for two years among other places

Ah. Puerco Rican.

[Woodrow]

WAY to many to type, but this is one of my favorites.

This happened last summer. Me and some friends had gotten together to kill some braincells and we were drinking pretty heavy. One of my friends didn't get off work untill 9:00pm but he knew about this house partry that we were gonna go to.

We decided to drink this shit I invented called "Hobo's Nightmare". You've heard of a brass monkey right? If not, thats where you drink an Old English 40 down to the top of the label, then fill up the rest with Orange juice. Well, instead of using OJ, I thought it would be cool to use some MD2020 Orange Jubilee. It's possibly one of the most devilish and horrible drinks ever to touch the lips of mortal men. It's that bad. Kind of tastes like a cross between Sparkling wine and Urine. Not that I would know what Urine would taste like, but I can just imagine. I named it "Hobo's Nightmare" because after you drink it, there's a good possiblity you may wake up pushing a shopping cart full of cans under a bridge somewhere.

Anways, We were about 2 Hobo's nightmare's down a piece, and shit was getting kind of hectic. My friend gave us a call and told us he'd come pick us all up so we could go to this house party. He came over, and we all took off to the party. Shit was pretty cool, and everybody was chilling. Free beer, lots of girls, pretty much your typical college house party.

Anyways, I forget how it happend exactally, but my friend came up to me all excited cause this dude from his High school was there. Turns out he hated him and wanted to kick his ass. Having a good amount of liquid courage, we got our 2 other friends and the 4 of us walked up to dude. Now you gotta understand that this was in the middle of a fairly long hallway. People were lined up on both sides chilling. So anyways, we go up to this kid and my crazy friend Ryan just grabs him by the throat and pushes him up aginst the wall. The kid had no idea what hit him. I got all up in his face talking a gang of shit and he just looked like he wanted to cry. Ryan let him go and I slammed him on the ground. All my firends were yelling at him and shit and Ryan put his foot on his chest. It was crazy cause everybody in the hall was just standing there watching.

All of a sudden, one dude in the hall goes: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL???" and this HORRIBLE stench came over the hallway. It was Really bad. Ryan took his foot off dudes chest and he got up. Turns out he lost control of his ass and had shit himself!!!! He got up and had to walk all out of this party with shit falling out the bottom of his pant legs. It was probably some of the craziest shit I've seen happen in a long time. He had to walk ALL the way down this hallway with EVERYBODY laughing at him cause he shit himself, and then down some stairs and out the front door with the ENTIRE party watching little shit balls fall out the bottom of his pants. When he was out, like 15 or 20 people ran out on the deck and just laughed at him as he walked down the street. We just chilled at the party untill the kegs ran out and then rolled out to the bars to finish our night. Pretty funny if you ask me.

[Lil Jay]

ya know when ya body just has no control over itself.  I ran outside the club and fell asleep against a shop window.  My friends came out the club about 20 minutes laters and found my lying on the street asleep.  

lmao thats exactly what happend to me a few weeks ago. Probably my worst experience. I think I was tellin Nima or someone else about it...shit was just crazy, we were at the club and I had everything from hennessy  to courvoisier to vodka to malibu...i had like 3 long islands..what you guys know about long islands, believe me you know nothing about them, they're deadly. all i remember is me sleeping in the clubs restrooms for 2 hours and my boy knocking at the door for 30 mins cause he thought that I was dead lol...after that I was running down the stairs in the club (the club was on the 4th Floor), as soon as I came out I was throwing up and passed out, I was lying against a window and i rmember seeing people pointing they fingers at me and laughin their asses off, the street was packed btw. but I was so wasted that I didnt care. my friend came out a lil bit later and told me to stay there, he left to get me some water but when he came back I was gone again. He was looking for me everywhere till 7am but couldnt find me, I was sleeping somewhere in a park. (btw, a few days later people told me that this was a gay park, imagine fags running around looking for dicks, and me drunk as hell sleeping somewhere under a tree). Anyway, People tried to help me get up, even the taxi driver was calling me that night askin if I was alright after he heard what happened. but I couldnt even answer the damn phone, let alone talk or breathe. After I woke up on the street I threw up one more time, in a taxi on the way home and the driver was very happy about it, but i finally made it home at 8 am. i was doing better at that time but my clothes were so dirty, I was throwing up non stop I mean what can you expect lol. That shit was just nasty. Next day I stayed home the whole damn day, doing nothing else but throwing up all the time.

[Smoke]

WAY to many to type, but this is one of my favorites.

This happened last summer. Me and some friends had gotten together to kill some braincells and we were drinking pretty heavy. One of my friends didn't get off work untill 9:00pm but he knew about this house partry that we were gonna go to.

We decided to drink this shit I invented called "Hobo's Nightmare". You've heard of a brass monkey right? If not, thats where you drink an Old English 40 down to the top of the label, then fill up the rest with Orange juice. Well, instead of using OJ, I thought it would be cool to use some MD2020 Orange Jubilee. It's possibly one of the most devilish and horrible drinks ever to touch the lips of mortal men. It's that bad. Kind of tastes like a cross between Sparkling wine and Urine. Not that I would know what Urine would taste like, but I can just imagine. I named it "Hobo's Nightmare" because after you drink it, there's a good possiblity you may wake up pushing a shopping cart full of cans under a bridge somewhere.

Anways, We were about 2 Hobo's nightmare's down a piece, and shit was getting kind of hectic. My friend gave us a call and told us he'd come pick us all up so we could go to this house party. He came over, and we all took off to the party. Shit was pretty cool, and everybody was chilling. Free beer, lots of girls, pretty much your typical college house party.

Anyways, I forget how it happend exactally, but my friend came up to me all excited cause this dude from his High school was there. Turns out he hated him and wanted to kick his ass. Having a good amount of liquid courage, we got our 2 other friends and the 4 of us walked up to dude. Now you gotta understand that this was in the middle of a fairly long hallway. People were lined up on both sides chilling. So anyways, we go up to this kid and my crazy friend Ryan just grabs him by the throat and pushes him up aginst the wall. The kid had no idea what hit him. I got all up in his face talking a gang of shit and he just looked like he wanted to cry. Ryan let him go and I slammed him on the ground. All my firends were yelling at him and shit and Ryan put his foot on his chest. It was crazy cause everybody in the hall was just standing there watching.

All of a sudden, one dude in the hall goes: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL???" and this HORRIBLE stench came over the hallway. It was Really bad. Ryan took his foot off dudes chest and he got up. Turns out he lost control of his ass and had shit himself!!!! He got up and had to walk all out of this party with shit falling out the bottom of his pant legs. It was probably some of the craziest shit I've seen happen in a long time. He had to walk ALL the way down this hallway with EVERYBODY laughing at him cause he shit himself, and then down some stairs and out the front door with the ENTIRE party watching little shit balls fall out the bottom of his pants. When he was out, like 15 or 20 people ran out on the deck and just laughed at him as he walked down the street. We just chilled at the party untill the kegs ran out and then rolled out to the bars to finish our night. Pretty funny if you ask me.

Oh man, that's just disgusting, ROFL!

[Lil Jay]

He had to walk ALL the way down this hallway with EVERYBODY laughing at him cause he shit himself, and then down some stairs and out the front door with the ENTIRE party watching little shit balls fall out the bottom of his pants. When he was out, like 15 or 20 people ran out on the deck and just laughed at him as he walked down the street.

LMAO that sounds sick; I would have paid to see that.

[SGV]

LMAO!!! I thought I had some funny stories, but after that cat shitting himself, I can't even try. LOL!

[E. J. Rizo]

this leads to........
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
this!

  enuff said?

damn toilet is my buddy

by the way gotta love the "I Love Cock" sign behind me

het atleast there is a girls crotch in my face too bad i dont remember shit

[SGV]

^^^LMAO!!!

I got some funny pictures though. I posted them here once, why not another time.



The Very Drunk Man
This is a story that involves a very drunk man. The setting is in a back yard with a couple of other drunk guys (not that drunk unlike our main drunk guy character in the story, and one sober guy). When the drunk guys saw that the very drunk man passed out, they decided to have a little fun.....

First, it all started when this drunk guy in the grey decided to pour a little bit of beer down very drunk guy's pants.



Then they got a little bit more creative. "put a towel on his head" one drunk guy said. "yeah, and a beer bottle in his butt!!" another replied. And so they did



Of course, the madness didn't stop there. One drunk guy discovered a shovel....



and decided to put it to good use.



One drunk guy decided to take a picture in the meantime with very drunk guy holding the evidence of the crime just committed to him. Also in the picture. Another crime that he committed himself. He had just wet his own pants!



When the drunk guys tired, they started stacking up beers hoping to build a pyramid on very drunk guy's back.



Then one drunk guy shouted "Hey, why not stack a case too!!". So they did.



One drunk guy felt like he accomplished something great. So he gave the very drunk guy some sort of helmet so he won't hurt himself, and took a picture.



Then the rest of the other drunks said "hey, I want to get in on this also". So they prepared and struck a pose. It is also believed that a monkey sneaked in when the camera went off. See if you can find him!



They also said, "hey, why not take another". And so they did. Well, two more actually.



"This one is for keeps" they shouted.



After they got bored. They decided to take the very drunk guy home.



After they put him in the car, one drunk guy decided to go along for the ride. Two drunk guys point out that he does not fit.



They then dropped off the very drunk guy at a pad. Where a shaving cream and kicking ritual took place but was not documented.



The End...


If they don't show, go here http://www.geocities.com/dvl999/thedrunkguy.html

[[Stoned]Jesus H. Christ[Wheat]]

I finally had some drinks on friday and damn it was fun, I missed not caring about anything when you're drunk. I'll start from after work. My friend Rowan picked me up after work went to my house left to go pick up another friend, Adam, then we went to wallmart. I went xmas shopping...ended up getting a gift for my mom and then saw someone with a James Brown signing and dancing doll and found the display of them and said "I have to have this" so I bought it (I know it was dumb but whatever) so after that we came back to my house watched some Trailer Park Boys till about 12:30 (AM) then we left to go pick up some vodka from rowans house (Smirnoff 100 Proof) then went to Sobeys (24 hour grocery store) to get some Tropicana OJ and 2 water bottles to drink out of. We then went to some parking lot for a trail in the woods. Started drinking, about 20 minutes later probably I was feeling pretty fucking drunk (I can't drink hard stuff fast at all after I drank too much rum) then me and rowan smoked some green while adam continued drinking. So after that we get out of their cause I got the fucking munchies like crazy and hop over to Denny's. We get there and the shit is pretty fucking full, it was 2 AM by this time, the reason was because there's a bar like 3 minutes away so alot of people walk over for food after they close I guess. Any who, I had drunk more in the car so I was even more drunk but could still walk pretty damn well, we get to dennys get a table for 3 get seated order some shit. This guy across from us throws some fries at my friend adam then I pointed and laughed at him then he realized what happened so he threw some fries back at him then he threw some toast and we all had a good laugh. Then that guy throws some food at another guy (who wasn't drunk and an asshole) anyways this guy starts beef with the guy who threw food at him. The pissed off guy gets taken out side by his super ugly friends (who look like they haven't been outside in a while and just plain nerdy dirty) then about 5 minutes goes by and he doesn't come back in and we just suspect he left. Me and adam decide to go to the bathroom cause we gotta "Race like a piss horse" as we said . We're just washing our hands and shit then that dick comes in and the guy who threw shit came in after him (I'll call him Goatee Guy) they start talking and shit and that goatee guy says it was just a joke and he should chill out, which he doesn't. Shit starts looking like they're gonna fight but then the guy was gonna throw a punch but there were like 5 other people in the bathroom and they held him back so we leave the bathroom and go back and sit down (walking was so fucking hard cause I had been drinking adams mix which had alot more vodka then mine did and I was drinking alot of his inside denny's) then this old fucker comes walking up and down all smilies and shit, we asked the waiter what the fuck was up with that guy and the waiter said "He comes in here all the time drunk as a mother fucker and walks around". He comes around to our table and adam says "Hey Kenny Rogers!" Then the old guy laughs and gets all happy and shakes his hand (you had to see that stuff, shit was so funny!, guy like 50-65 with a decent siezed gut and a plad shirt and a cowboy hat on) then after that we left. Rowan drove us home, got back to my house got in and got downstairs without too much trouble then tried changing to my PJs, holy fuck that was some really hard shit to do, almost fell 4 times. I had that James Brown doll sitting on my bed side thingy and man that made me so mad, I just wanted to kill it cause he wouldn't stop looking at me (that should say how drunk I was) then I fell asleep even though i felt like I was gonna be sick cause I got mad head spins when I closed my eyes but I fell asleep in like 5 minutes....so ya thats it...I can't really write shit out well so it may not seem funny but it was hella funny if you were there. I also know I have bad grammar and sentence structure.

[B.O.X.]

DAMN I HATE TO DO THIS TO MYSELF,BUT FUCC IT,ONE TIME I WAS PARTYING WITH THE HOMIES (BASTARDS HAHA) AND WE WAS GETTING FUCC'D UP,I WAS OFF THAT JACC DANIELS, AND THEY HAD A COUPLE OF FUGLY ASS BEEOTCHES THERE, SO THE HOMIES DARE'D ME TO HOLLA AT ONE OF THESE BITCHES,AND MY DRUNK ASS DID TOOK HER TO THE BACC ROOM AND FUCC'D,(BASICALLY THE BITCH WAS RIDIN A NIGGA) TO PUT A LONG STORY SHORT I WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY AND THE HOMIES IS CLOWNING A NIGGA LIKE YOU FUCC'D THIS UGLY SHAKA ZULU LOOKING BITCH, SHE LOOKED SOMETHING LIKE  http://members.blackplanet.com/CHICKENHEAD2/# ,I'M LIKE YALL NIGGAS LYING,AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW NIGGAS SHOW ME TAPE OF SOME OF IT ON THE CAM CORDER HAHAHA, AY AND FROM WHAT I SEEN I WAS LIKING THAT SHIT UGHHHHHH FUCC THE HOMIES

[bez]

lol cool stories ya'll