a joke...u got one?

[Mr. O]

here's mine

well...

there's this black guy who was watch miss cleo's commerical.
He decided to try it once to see if it's real.
Once he punched in the number, he heard a woman's voice
saying, "welcome, this is miss cleo, how can i help you?"

the guy asked, "what does the future hold in for me?"
She responded saying," oooh.. you seem to have troubled life...and..and..i se..see..
you are having trouble within your family."

he responded with, "tell me something that I don't know."
Miss cleo said, "oooo...hold on..i do sense something bad happening with your financial."
the guy asked,"what will happen?"
Miss cleo was trying to meditate..and then
Miss. cleo said, "after this call, your phone bill is fucked!"

 

[Da WCC Hopar!]

[Mac 10 †]

A duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes." The duck leaves.

The next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yeaterday. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."

The following day, the duck returns and asks,"Got any grapes?" The bartender loses it. He grabs the duck by the neck, and yells, "I already told you twice! This is a bar! I don't have any grapes! If you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to the floor!"

The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don't have any nails." The duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?"

[got_tony]

okay. i got one. kinda racist. but whatever. got it from boondock saints.

There's a spic, a nigger, and a white guy.
They all get one wish from god.
God asks the spic what he wants.
The spic replies, "I want all my people to go back to their homeland." So all the spics return to their homeland.

God asks the nigger what he wants.
The nigger replies, "I want all my people to go back to their homeland." So all the niggers return to their homeland.

God asks the white guy what he wants.
The white guy replies, "Well, the nigger and the spics are gone. Hmmmmm. I'll guess i'll have a coke."

lol, there you have it. i thought it was pretty funny.

[Javier]

A duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes." The duck leaves.

The next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yeaterday. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."

The following day, the duck returns and asks,"Got any grapes?" The bartender loses it. He grabs the duck by the neck, and yells, "I already told you twice! This is a bar! I don't have any grapes! If you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to the floor!"

The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don't have any nails." The duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?"

LOL

[got_tony]

lol those jokes go hard.

[E-L-P]

"... So She Says 'Do You Love Me' and I Say 'No, But That's a Real Nice Ski Mask'"

Q: Why Are Black People So Tall?
A: Cause Their Knee Grows

[JMan]

women say on the one hand, we'll never expirence the joy of childbirth... but on the other hand we can open all our own jars 

[mauzip]

ik ken een mop.... TWEE TIETEN IN EEN ENVELOP!!

[Fonky Fresh]

this is how the joke goes:
There were three drunk guys and they got in a car accident. They go to heaven and plead god for a second chance. God says, "Alright, but don't step on a duck. The drunks reply, "Why ducks?" God repeats, "Just don't step on a duck." The drunks agree and go back down to earth.
A few weeks go by, and the first steps on a duck. Instantly, he's chained to the ugliest woman in the world. A month goes by and the second steps on a duck. The last of them is laughing at the others and is instantly chained to the most beautiful woman in the world.
He says, "God, what did I do for this?" The girl says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

[QuietTruth]

So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'

[Da WCC Hopar!]

So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'

dat sux

[QuietTruth]

So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'

dat sux

I got it from my grandfather who got it from playboy.

[Da WCC Hopar!]

So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'

dat sux

I got it from my grandfather who got it from playboy.

LMAO!!! now thats funny

[Don Seer]

What do you call a chav in a box?

Innit..


What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on?

Safe..


What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted..