Couple funny anal stories I ran into on OT

[Doggystylin]

First one:

Every once in a while I get lucky and my girlfriend let's me bang her in the ass. Well, last night I'm fucking the shit (wrong expression I know) out of her pussy and she turns around and says, "You can stick it in my ass if you want" and that made me hornier than I already was, so I pull out of her pussy and start to slip it in her winky when about halfway in I run into an obstruction.

The first thing that pops into my head is man, that's kinda gross bumping up against a turd with my dick, but then I figured maybe if I just kept banging her I could shove it back in far enough to get the damn thing out of my way.

Well, that was a bad idea because jamming the turd back in caused the gas behind it to back up and just about the time I went in for what probably would have been the thrust that got the turd out of my way, the gas exploded. It shot my dick and the turd out like a rocket. Now, if getting your dick explosively expelled from your chick's ass and then getting hit in the gut with a flying turd doesn't make your dick soft, you're a better man than I am.

[Doggystylin]

Second:

I'd been sleeping with this girl for a few weeks, and things were getting experimental. She was into anal beads, so one night she whipped out a bottle of lube and a strand. We started doing it doggy style, and she told me to massage her bad place with the lube. Once it was nice and greasy, I started feeding the beads into her butt, one by one. It was so cool. We started doing it doggy style again, and as each of us got closer to climaxing she told me to pull the beads out. Only she didn't specify that i should pull them out S-L-O-W-L-Y, and I gave the string a tub like I was rip-starting a lawn mower. I'm still trying to block out what happened next. Let's just say there was a loud noise, some poop, and a lot of anger involved. That was my one and only experiment with butt love.

[JAZ]

first the kobe looked cute with a fro thread. now a buttsex thread. a screenname like Doggystyle.

is there something you want to tell us?

[NotoriousTDA]

the first story was classic!

LOL

[Doggystylin]

first the kobe looked cute with a fro thread. now a buttsex thread. a screenname like Doggystyle.

is there something you want to tell us?

yeah kobe bryant is my fav basketball player and i like having sex with women and anal stories are funny, go fuck yourself.

[JAZ]

first the kobe looked cute with a fro thread. now a buttsex thread. a screenname like Doggystyle.

is there something you want to tell us?

yeah kobe bryant is my fav basketball player and i like having sex with women and anal stories are funny, go fuck yourself.

if you can take a fucking dick, you can take a joke
- IT

[Doggystylin]

quit winking at me fag

[JAZ]

okay my lover

[Laconic]

LOL @ giving the string a tug like rip-starting a lawn mower 

Sounds like she had turds laying in the cut for ya 

Shit aint right. 

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

oh shit man, those had me rollin. ROFLMAO

[FLY BOYS]

ANAL THREADS ?

LOL YOU HOMO.

[Bones01]

lol

[MontrealCity's Most]

funny

nasty

[Elevz]

Lmao, that was just... wrong, hahaha

[the.SET]

shit happens