Please read - Advice rhyme for tom

[ITW [the irish boy]]

Yo tom...maybe a rhyme about my life might help.

2000
Silence, quiet, confusion inside my head//
The girl, I think she's looking//
My jaw feels full of lead//
She looks me up/
She looks me down/
Smirks like it wouldntve mattered what I said/
I had as much game/
as a corpse/
thats ten years dead//

2002
two years later she smiles//
I smirk and wink my eye//
the girls they wanna know me//
I don't even gotta try//
But now i'll pass on my knowledge//
Give you the wings/
Then watch you fly//
Just open your mouth, to talk, not to drool//
Put a strut in your walk, not too much/
Just act cool/
Don't try to act black, you'll look like a fool//
Admit who you are, and use it as a tool//
Talk to a new girl, every single day//
Other girls will see you, they'll wanna come and play//
Show katie your rhyme, show her how you feel//
I promise, she's gonna love u, as long as u keep it real//
Don't be labeled a reject/
coz girls'll wanna get away/
they wanna press "eject"/
Don't ever lose self confidence/
like the nigga pressed re-set//

speaks for itself. It wasnt meant as a metaphorical masterpiece but ya'll can rate it. It was meant as a story and advice for tom

[doggmastah]

Cool! But some lines are too simple... like u said it was dope and not meant to be a masterpiece and i guess i wouldn't do better!

Peace!

['Illicit']

naw fuck what AMC said,  that shit was straight real dawg.

keep it up.

peace