WARNING: Floydness don't read this - The other day I crippled a possum...

[Sikotic™]

...excuse my niggerness: my hired help crippled an Opossum. I got a call from the LAFD telling em my property is a fire hazard and since Santa Barbara went up in smoke this week, I am responsible for clearing out all my surrounding brush.

So I'm like cool. So I hired my Mexican nigga Juan from in front of my local Lowes and we start tearin up the property together. We ripped out a gang of brush n shit.

Some bushes were giving Juan a hard time, so I told him to go get my pick axe from the garage. He starts chopping away at the bush and all of a sudden he sees blood and hears screaming. He comes running to me and in broken English explains to me that he chopped a rats tail off. I go look and I see a possum an Opossum running around my yard like Mike Tyson just fucked him in the ass. I'm sorry, but I laughed hysterically. Me and Juan had a Dos Equis and laughed about it before I dropped him back off at Lowes.

When I come back from dropping off Juan after a hard day's work. I look and I see this Opossum dragging himself across my street dodging oncoming traffic. He can;t use his back legs and most of his tail was missing which led me to believe than Juan chopped off most of his tail and his legs too. So this marsupial is dragging itself like a Vietnam War vet that encountered a landmine and he drags himself into the yard of some old bitch. I hopped in my Benz and tried to run the fucker over and put it out of its misery, but he evaded my car so I gave up.

The coyotes probably got him by the end of the night. RIP to the Opossum.

[Don Jacob]

well at least you tried to help it.

[Kool Beenz]

i bet you paid Juan by giving him a case of beer

you should of given him maybe 5 extra bucks just for cutting off the possums tail atleast...


and thats pussy shit whenever we go hunting we dont only kill a possum but we kill the whole family too
and leave it there so his cousins know not to fuck around there

[Sikotic™]

i bet you paid Juan by giving him a case of beer

you should of given him maybe 5 extra bucks just for cutting off the possums tail atleast...


and thats pussy shit whenever we go hunting we dont only kill a possum but we kill the whole family too
and leave it there so his cousins know not to fuck around there

He asked for $80 so I said cool. PLUS I gave him beer and fed his ass. He better be around Saturday because we ain't finished.

[Kool Beenz]

what we only have to give our illegals beer around here and they practically work for free

[SEERLOVESKAIN]

Damn this story should have been a scene from the movie CRASH

I take my Mexican dudes to Chili's.
My backyard patio > Taj Mahal

[Sikotic™]

what we only have to give our illegals beer around here and they practically work for free

I gotta pay a man that has to feed his family. Even if my ass is broke as a joke and in debt. I won't be giving his ass beer next time soon though. He threw beer caps everywhere.

[K.Dub]

Hahhaha, sounds like you had a great time!

[Cali Climate]

I take my Mexican dudes to Chili's.

surely a sight to see.

[Big B]

...excuse my niggerness: my hired help crippled an Opossum. I got a call from the LAFD telling em my property is a fire hazard and since Santa Barbara went up in smoke this week, I am responsible for clearing out all my surrounding brush.

So I'm like cool. So I hired my Mexican nigga Juan from in front of my local Lowes and we start tearin up the property together. We ripped out a gang of brush n shit.

Some bushes were giving Juan a hard time, so I told him to go get my pick axe from the garage. He starts chopping away at the bush and all of a sudden he sees blood and hears screaming. He comes running to me and in broken English explains to me that he chopped a rats tail off. I go look and I see a possum an Opossum running around my yard like Mike Tyson just fucked him in the ass. I'm sorry, but I laughed hysterically. Me and Juan had a Dos Equis and laughed about it before I dropped him back off at Lowes.

When I come back from dropping off Juan after a hard day's work. I look and I see this Opossum dragging himself across my street dodging oncoming traffic. He can;t use his back legs and most of his tail was missing which led me to believe than Juan chopped off most of his tail and his legs too. So this marsupial is dragging itself like a Vietnam War vet that encountered a landmine and he drags himself into the yard of some old bitch. I hopped in my Benz and tried to run the fucker over and put it out of its misery, but he evaded my car so I gave up.

The coyotes probably got him by the end of the night. RIP to the Opossum.

good riddance

[Jaydc555]

Dont lie the possum was actually a hooker

[Blasphemy]

pics or it never happened   

[Mr. O]

what we only have to give our illegals beer around here and they practically work for free

I gotta pay a man that has to feed his family. Even if my ass is broke as a joke and in debt. I won't be giving his ass beer next time soon though. He threw beer caps everywhere.

well, either he worked for free or you could of gotten his address and number and report him to illegal immigration office or minuteman.

[jeromechickenbone]

I love Mexicans.  I recently had one come pick me up roadside and drive me like 70 miles in his beat up truck.  He spoke broken english but was nice as a motherfucker.  I threw him some dough and took him to lunch.  God bless the Mexicans.

[Jaydc555]

Translation,you threw him some ass and tossed his salad.