It's May 16, 2024, 10:05:24 AM
baby dont cry ya gotta keep ya head up, even when the road is hard neva give up.Peace
Who care so much... it hurt...... My first year in high school was one of the most hardest periods in my life, I had to deal with alot of things that most 14 and 15 shouldn't have too. I was helping raising two kids that i love more then life, My mom was gone and well i always felt that i had to take care of my dad. High school did not make like much easier for me either. I was popular in Middle school, Most people liked me. i was friendly and happy. When i go to high school, the first week of school was cool, Meeting new people and hanging out with the old ones. Dispite my home life, school was my escape from it all. But i found a great love, The love of my life NJROTC (Naval Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps) I couldn't wait for the first day, that was were all suppose to dress in or uniforms. I love the marching, PT (Physical Training), and the great joy of my the Armed Drill Team. About the 3rd week of the school year, was the big week for me. My friend did not know that I was a Cadet in the program and that i almost worship the rules of the Cadet Field Manual. This was a new light for me, I was learning things most people would never try to learn. Finually the day came were it was the first Uniform day for all freashman. I was so excited, Little did i know it would change my life forever and the way my supposed friend saw me too. I walked on campus like every other day, this time things would be different. I never took the time to notice that no one liked the Cadets in ROTC. They were loser and now i was lable as one too. I walked up to my friends that i always hung out with. They looked at me, Then one let out a comment that hurt me more then anything. "How can you like that shit" she smerked at me. Following that comment was a few minutes of ridicule. My new found love was not the best thing on earth. As the school year went on, I became more and more interested in the program. Spending all my time and energy in the ROTC setting. I became simi close the Master Gunns the ROTC Instuctor. He was funny, mean, nice, caring, and curle all rolled into one. But to this day i concider him a close friend. Towards march of my 9th grade, Life seem to be getting harder and harder. My grades were good and ROTC was my life, even though i had lost all my friends and trying to figure out who i was. One day I thought I lost total control of my emotions, life, spirit and mind. Class was dismissed but that day that moment change my life forever. I didn't move, I sat back down after i standing at attention for a few mintues. almost crying i just sat there. Master Gunns walk up to me and ask me the question that i see as my life saver. "Mija, Are you ok" in a soft voice i whispered. "I want to kill myself, i want to feel pain" He gave me a wierd look, then ask my to repeat what i just said. I remember getting up from my seat. and walking out the class room door without saying a word. Within the next hour or so, i was call into the crisis concelor. He explained to me that a teacher reported that I had made a comment that i was going to kill myself. I didn't know what to say, i started crying and told her that i didn't mean to cuase such a stur up. I told her i was sorry and left. Anger ran though my body. How could master gunns do that to me. How could he turn me like that. After i cooled down i started to feel bad. I remember having the razor blades in my pocket, I was ready to do this. I felt to courage to do what was on my mind for months now. I had no friends so who would really miss i thought. After school i talk to Master Gunns. I told him that i felt that this time i am going to do it. I cry on his shoulder. I couldn't control it. I was going to kill myself, But then he told me something that change that forever. "if you were to kill your self, I would miss you. I love you Kiddo and your Dad loves you too. It would hurt alot of people who really care about you." he made me think about my family and the few friends i had in ROTC. That day i made a promise to him that i would alway keep and never take it back. No matter if i ever see him after i graduate or i do. This promise was meant to be keeped and between two friends that learned from each other. I promise him that i would never take my life. I would never do anything to hurt myself. This promise i have now kept for 4 years now. Everyday when i wake up, i think about what the little things we do and say can change a person forever. My challenge for you is this..... Anytime from now till new years, Try to make a life changing difference in someone life. Remember it can only be a few words and nothing more... thats my challenge for anyone willing to take it Peace
awww.. thanks for the words of wisdom i will keep my head always... thats a promise i am making to my self
Keep your head up. Just remember, immoral homosexuality is not the answer.
what does my sexuality have to do with this...
never mind sugefight no one reads his posts without that pic...he is ignorant..yeeh keep ya head up in that shit.. i lost mah head and i nearly died b4 so u gottakeep pushen..peace~1~
Im saying--you do good, youll receive good. If youre triflin, you get what you pay for.