Funniest Character on Scrubs

[Teddy Roosevelt]

I can't decide between Dr. Cox and Janitor.

[E-L-P]

I Voted Dr.Cox. But The Todd Is Pretty Funny Too. All Of Them Actually.

[Luke]

i voted for JD...i think he's hilarious

[Meho]

I simply cant anwser that.

You have Cox with his priceless speaches or Todds idiotic remarkes or Teds great nerd acting or JDs thought or Kelsos ounchlines and of course theres Janitor.

Too hard 

[Doggystylin]

too hard to pick, thats what happens when a show is that good

[Jome]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janitor_(Scrubs)

[K.Dub]

I simply cant anwser that.

You have Cox with his priceless speaches or Todds idiotic remarkes or Teds great nerd acting or JDs thought or Kelsos ounchlines and of course theres Janitor.

Too hard 

[K.Dub]

btw, u forgot Hooch   


And damn Jordan is fuckable!

[Throwback]

I can't decide between Dr. Cox and Janitor.

same.

[Raphael]

J.D. 

[[sepehr]]

COX! His disses and wordplay are awesome.

[JMan]

i choose dr cox aswell.. but the janitor needs a big shout out too, his too funny, the episode where he sticks up the flyers about old gay men on jd's decking was priceless 

[Teddy Roosevelt]

My favorite quotes from Cox.

JD: I was thinking that, when you wrote it, instead of using a girl's name you could refer to me as "Dr. Dorian." I think it sounds a little more professional and, frankly, each time you call me a girl's name, I die a little inside.
Cox: Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany, Amber, Thiiiieeeessen...

Cox: Just a real nice helmet, there, princess.
JD: Actually, it's not a helmet, it's a "hairmet". It has extra room so you don't mess up your hairdo. [demonstrates]
Cox: Fair enough. [takes out pen and paper] I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.

Cox (to a room of CEO’s): Howdy, fellas. Don't ya--don't ya dare get up -- I don't want to see any broken hips.

Cox (to JD and Elliot): Well, I figure with her being ridiculously book-smart to the point where she has almost no interpersonal skills, and you being warm and cuddly as an un-potty trained labradoodle -- and about as useful in high-stress medical situations as an un-potty trained labradoodle -- _together_ the two of you make one barely passable doctor...slash labradoodle.

Cox: [laughs] Look who peeked in his shorts and found a pair! What are you, feeling like you finally took on the old man in a game of one-on-one and kicked his ass? Well, here's the news-flash, there, Skeetch: It was a fluke!
JD: Well, believe what you want to believe. I'll do it again.
Cox: All right, fair enough, here's your chance -- two identical patients. I say we divide 'em up, just like in "The Parent Trap". One goes with the sexy, free-wheeling, bachelor dad -- hello; the other goes with the whiny, neurotic, sexually-repressed mom -- oh, just you all over.

Cox: Oh, then you should definitely handle this yourself, there, Britney. I'm going with female pop stars today. The point is that back when I was a resident, I had all sorts of trouble with metabolic diseases. You know what I did? I grabbed every case I could get my hands on until I had it down pat.
JD: Got it. You really had trouble with metabolic diseases?
Cox: No.... I'm a good doctor.

JD: Uh, Dr. Cox, Dan was wondering if he could trail with us today....
Dr. Cox: Good God in heaven, Newbie, there are just so very many ways for me to say this to you: Never, not in a million years, absolutely not, no way Jose, no chance, Lance, niet, negatory, mm-mm, nuh-uh, oh-oh, and of course my own personal favorite of all time, man falling off of a cliff -- "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!..."
JD: Look, Dr. Cox...
Cox: "Wait for it." ..."Pff."

Jordan: It's Jack's first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a petting zoo for the kids. And we need to figure out something great for the adults.
Cox: How about a Russian Roulette booth? And here's the kicker. We put bullets in ALL the chambers. That way everyone wins!

Cox: Lemme ask you a quick question. Are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is - oh, I don't know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be "Dr. Give-A-Crap", but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: You are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?


Kelso: This Friday, I am receiving an award from the A.M.A.--
Cox: Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill Ya and Stuff Ya and Leave Ya by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face...of the Year.

Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall in which you're leaning against, of course, then you would be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it, I'll tackle that one right upstairs. In the meantime, you could at least pretend to be doing some work, and right about now, even though you don't have your basket, its just a terrific time for you to skip away, Shirley... skip away... [JD hesitantly skips] skip away... skip away, skip, skip, skip to my loo, woohoo!

Cox: Come on, now, Barbie; you keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof of this hospital and jump the hell off. Mind you, it's only five stories high, so that means you'll just wind up back down here, where I, of course, will be the one who has to treat you, and then I'll be forced to jump off the roof of this hospital, which, as I was suggesting to you, is only five stories high, and are you starting to see a pattern forming here?

Cox: Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'.

Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Cox: No, Barbie, no... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.




Other quotes

Cox: Oh, I don't know, Bob. Here, I like to think I've accomplished plenty of things much more difficult than this. Why, just yesterday morning I somehow managed to hack into your voice-mail and change the outgoing message to, [slips into Kelso voice] "Hi, this is Big Bob. Why, I'm not in right now but, at the beep, leave your name and your penis size!"
Kelso: Perry, have you ever wondered why you've never risen above clinical staff at this hospital? I mean, come on, pal, who do you think the board listens to concerning promotions around here? Why don't I tell you after the beep?
Dr. Steadman: Beeeeeeep.
Kelso: Bob Kelso. Ten inches.

JD : Anyway, this is the end of a major chapter in our lives and you know what? I am going to take you out tonight, yes sir, we are going to get some dinner, we'll get a nice bottle of wine
Turk : It sounds like you are asking me out on a man-date
J.D. : Turk, why are you so afraid of loving me?

JD: You knew she worked here? I can't believe you kept a secret. Remember before your wedding, when you sold me out to Turk?
Carla: JD, you showed up drunk at my shower screaming through tears that I'd never be as emotionally connected to him as you are.
JD: Turk knew I was joking.
JD's Thoughts: Because we're so emotionally connected.

Cox: So, let's see if you got the gobstoppers to take the lead. Be me! [laughs mockingly then turns away with a growl]
JD's Thoughts: Come on...you can do this. Navy scrubs! Navy scrubs! Navy scrubs!
JD: *whistles* [imitating Dr. Cox] Hhhheeeere's the deal, Eleanor: We're gonna go ahead and get a full work-up on this guy. So, while I drop an NG tube and do a gastric lavage, why don't you go ahead and get an order on EKG with cardio biomarkers. If you need to know where those are, they're on page 37 of the Ann Taylor catalog -- right next to that salmon cable-knit sweater you've wanted for so long but haven't had the courage to order...'cause you're worried the weave's so thin, your nipples might just go ahead and peek their little pink selves through. Isn't that right, Dr. Cox. [Cox says nothing] ...Dr. Cox...
Cox: [imitating JD] Oh, I-I-I'm sorry. Here I was in my own little world, talking to myself and dreaming about candy bracelets.

JD: Look, Dr. Cox, I know you were using reverse psychology with Mr. Radford.
Cox: You do, do you?
JD: Yes. And I figured it out all by myself, without anyone helping me or explaining it directly in my face or anything.
Cox: Well, Newbie, your last lesson and you didn't even need it. [J.D. smiles humbly as Dr. Cox stands up] Three years and it's finally over. I know what you want, I do. [Checks to see if anyone else is around, and opens his arms to JD] Come here.
JD's Thoughts: Oh, my God, it's finally happening! Don't miss a moment! Take it all in! (nervously tries to hum beat in his head)
[J.D. leans in to accept his hug, and is stopped short by Dr. Cox whistling sharply in his ear.]
JD: Ow.
Cox: [Angry] Good God, Fantasia. You--you don't actually think I'm done teaching you, do you? D'you not understand the only difference between today and tomorrow is that when you wake up tomorrow and start coming in here and killing people, that no one can say, "It's no big deal, he's just a resident." Instead, what they're damn sure gonna be wondering is who tried to educate your sorry ass. And when that finger of blame starts pointing in my direction, I had damn sure better be in a coma from the anger stroke I suffered from the last time you tried to hug me.

[thisoneguy360]

JD

[K.Dub]

My favorite quotes from Cox.

JD: I was thinking that, when you wrote it, instead of using a girl's name you could refer to me as "Dr. Dorian." I think it sounds a little more professional and, frankly, each time you call me a girl's name, I die a little inside.
Cox: Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany, Amber, Thiiiieeeessen...

Cox: Just a real nice helmet, there, princess.
JD: Actually, it's not a helmet, it's a "hairmet". It has extra room so you don't mess up your hairdo. [demonstrates]
Cox: Fair enough. [takes out pen and paper] I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.

Cox (to a room of CEO’s): Howdy, fellas. Don't ya--don't ya dare get up -- I don't want to see any broken hips.

Cox (to JD and Elliot): Well, I figure with her being ridiculously book-smart to the point where she has almost no interpersonal skills, and you being warm and cuddly as an un-potty trained labradoodle -- and about as useful in high-stress medical situations as an un-potty trained labradoodle -- _together_ the two of you make one barely passable doctor...slash labradoodle.

Cox: [laughs] Look who peeked in his shorts and found a pair! What are you, feeling like you finally took on the old man in a game of one-on-one and kicked his ass? Well, here's the news-flash, there, Skeetch: It was a fluke!
JD: Well, believe what you want to believe. I'll do it again.
Cox: All right, fair enough, here's your chance -- two identical patients. I say we divide 'em up, just like in "The Parent Trap". One goes with the sexy, free-wheeling, bachelor dad -- hello; the other goes with the whiny, neurotic, sexually-repressed mom -- oh, just you all over.

Cox: Oh, then you should definitely handle this yourself, there, Britney. I'm going with female pop stars today. The point is that back when I was a resident, I had all sorts of trouble with metabolic diseases. You know what I did? I grabbed every case I could get my hands on until I had it down pat.
JD: Got it. You really had trouble with metabolic diseases?
Cox: No.... I'm a good doctor.

JD: Uh, Dr. Cox, Dan was wondering if he could trail with us today....
Dr. Cox: Good God in heaven, Newbie, there are just so very many ways for me to say this to you: Never, not in a million years, absolutely not, no way Jose, no chance, Lance, niet, negatory, mm-mm, nuh-uh, oh-oh, and of course my own personal favorite of all time, man falling off of a cliff -- "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!..."
JD: Look, Dr. Cox...
Cox: "Wait for it." ..."Pff."

Jordan: It's Jack's first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a petting zoo for the kids. And we need to figure out something great for the adults.
Cox: How about a Russian Roulette booth? And here's the kicker. We put bullets in ALL the chambers. That way everyone wins!

Cox: Lemme ask you a quick question. Are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is - oh, I don't know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be "Dr. Give-A-Crap", but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: You are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?


Kelso: This Friday, I am receiving an award from the A.M.A.--
Cox: Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill Ya and Stuff Ya and Leave Ya by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face...of the Year.

Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall in which you're leaning against, of course, then you would be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it, I'll tackle that one right upstairs. In the meantime, you could at least pretend to be doing some work, and right about now, even though you don't have your basket, its just a terrific time for you to skip away, Shirley... skip away... [JD hesitantly skips] skip away... skip away, skip, skip, skip to my loo, woohoo!

Cox: Come on, now, Barbie; you keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof of this hospital and jump the hell off. Mind you, it's only five stories high, so that means you'll just wind up back down here, where I, of course, will be the one who has to treat you, and then I'll be forced to jump off the roof of this hospital, which, as I was suggesting to you, is only five stories high, and are you starting to see a pattern forming here?

Cox: Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'.

Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Cox: No, Barbie, no... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.




Other quotes

Cox: Oh, I don't know, Bob. Here, I like to think I've accomplished plenty of things much more difficult than this. Why, just yesterday morning I somehow managed to hack into your voice-mail and change the outgoing message to, [slips into Kelso voice] "Hi, this is Big Bob. Why, I'm not in right now but, at the beep, leave your name and your penis size!"
Kelso: Perry, have you ever wondered why you've never risen above clinical staff at this hospital? I mean, come on, pal, who do you think the board listens to concerning promotions around here? Why don't I tell you after the beep?
Dr. Steadman: Beeeeeeep.
Kelso: Bob Kelso. Ten inches.

JD : Anyway, this is the end of a major chapter in our lives and you know what? I am going to take you out tonight, yes sir, we are going to get some dinner, we'll get a nice bottle of wine
Turk : It sounds like you are asking me out on a man-date
J.D. : Turk, why are you so afraid of loving me?

JD: You knew she worked here? I can't believe you kept a secret. Remember before your wedding, when you sold me out to Turk?
Carla: JD, you showed up drunk at my shower screaming through tears that I'd never be as emotionally connected to him as you are.
JD: Turk knew I was joking.
JD's Thoughts: Because we're so emotionally connected.

Cox: So, let's see if you got the gobstoppers to take the lead. Be me! [laughs mockingly then turns away with a growl]
JD's Thoughts: Come on...you can do this. Navy scrubs! Navy scrubs! Navy scrubs!
JD: *whistles* [imitating Dr. Cox] Hhhheeeere's the deal, Eleanor: We're gonna go ahead and get a full work-up on this guy. So, while I drop an NG tube and do a gastric lavage, why don't you go ahead and get an order on EKG with cardio biomarkers. If you need to know where those are, they're on page 37 of the Ann Taylor catalog -- right next to that salmon cable-knit sweater you've wanted for so long but haven't had the courage to order...'cause you're worried the weave's so thin, your nipples might just go ahead and peek their little pink selves through. Isn't that right, Dr. Cox. [Cox says nothing] ...Dr. Cox...
Cox: [imitating JD] Oh, I-I-I'm sorry. Here I was in my own little world, talking to myself and dreaming about candy bracelets.

JD: Look, Dr. Cox, I know you were using reverse psychology with Mr. Radford.
Cox: You do, do you?
JD: Yes. And I figured it out all by myself, without anyone helping me or explaining it directly in my face or anything.
Cox: Well, Newbie, your last lesson and you didn't even need it. [J.D. smiles humbly as Dr. Cox stands up] Three years and it's finally over. I know what you want, I do. [Checks to see if anyone else is around, and opens his arms to JD] Come here.
JD's Thoughts: Oh, my God, it's finally happening! Don't miss a moment! Take it all in! (nervously tries to hum beat in his head)
[J.D. leans in to accept his hug, and is stopped short by Dr. Cox whistling sharply in his ear.]
JD: Ow.
Cox: [Angry] Good God, Fantasia. You--you don't actually think I'm done teaching you, do you? D'you not understand the only difference between today and tomorrow is that when you wake up tomorrow and start coming in here and killing people, that no one can say, "It's no big deal, he's just a resident." Instead, what they're damn sure gonna be wondering is who tried to educate your sorry ass. And when that finger of blame starts pointing in my direction, I had damn sure better be in a coma from the anger stroke I suffered from the last time you tried to hug me.

ROFL, Cox is one funny dude